Hell

Today felt like life would thrust me into hell

But I picked myself up with gratitude in my heart

The violence about me and name-calling and conspiring

I refuse to give up, I refuse to give in. 

I am not in hell today and never will be, 

Because I refuse to get angry! I will shine

Like a star in the clear night sky;

I will achieve what no one has. 

I claim victory. I can see myself at the summit. 

Never falling into hell; happiness about me;

I forgive you because you have clearly fallen into hell. 

pain

I refuse to let pain lodge in my heart. 

I simply refuse. I am my own master. 

Ma's anger

As you scream at me it hits me, 

It's better to lie to you, 

Your rage reflected in your ugly

Scowl, your words bitter and

Angry; you hit me. What is the

Point of your prayers when you

Thrash me and call me names;

I'm giving up praying like you

Because your conduct belies you. 

Today you called me a parasite:

You are best pacified with

Dishonest words. 

Effort

The goal is near and victory is dear. As I make efforts to take my spot on the victory stand I make efforts for my next victory. 

Victory is certain

There is no more fear left in my heart

As I make strenuous efforts towards my future;

Our collective reality is hope-filled. 

Atleast I feel that way. Yet, we see

Slavery and disrespect perpetrated. 

I wish to become a voice for the future. 

Something in me nudges me. My time has come to claim my crown and sceptre;

Not one moment lost in paying gratitude;

Not a moment's ease as I forge ahead

Towards victory to claim my spot

On the victory stand. Hope, love and respect

Filling my nerves. Effort. Effort. Effort. 

Your criticism doesn't bother me anymore.

I'm here to be happy and contribute 

To society. Violence must cease. 

It's so close at home. Violence must

Cease. My vows: be grateful for everything 

And again, effort. A life filled with

Happiness and joy and love. 

I know that all my dreams will fructify

To reality. It's obvious. Just as the sun

Rises in the East each day. 

Bathed in hope I abandon all fear, 

All disharmony, creating a revolution

Of hope, smiles and love. With effort. 

Never ceasing effort and taking responsibilty

Even for a moment. You curse me, 

Vilify me and badmouth me. 

Narcissistic you. Always blowing

Your own trumpet. May be that 

Pleases you. But I'm grateful to you. 

It teaches me how to win

Without showbaazi. Silently, 

Quietly, with effort and gratitude. 

I've ceased to fear and I claim

Happiness. It's mine. Victory 

Is certain! 

Anger

The anger welled up within me. 

It led to violence. Against me. 

For a moment the hope within

Me was shrouded by the violence

Perpetrated against me. Despite

That I continue, affirming to

Never get angry again. Seize the

Moment, cease the negative banter

And scale peaks never scaled before. 

I don't need you to have faith in me

On my own journey, my own revolution;

You may not trust me that is why

You slapped me hard, so hard it still

Hurts, and you tugged my hair

With force. You slandered me, 

Saying I've amounted to nothing;

Bitter you. I gave up my bitterness

A long time ago. On my own journey

I'm only blamed for all your agony;

Your face in a scowl perpetually, 

Pointing fingers with disrespect. 

I have no expectations from you

Anymore: not the house, not the food, 

Not encouragement. You gave up

Encouraging me a long time ago, 

Worried about keeping up your

Appearances. I'll never get angry again

For that leads to violence against me. 

You diminish my achievements, 

Painting me as a loser, but I'm here

To win and I will! Don't blame only

Me for your agonies and your fears

And worries; and next time control

Your urge to hit me. Encouragement 

You stopped a long time ago. 

Age is just a number. You are still

30 within you, beating me up for

Your own frustrations, for your

Own indignity; if you hit me again

I might run a Gandhi on you

And turn my other cheek towards you. 

I vow to never get angry again. 

And in the meantime you can

Remove the scowl from your

Ever-scowling face. 

A wish on parent's day

Today is Parents Day. And I know I've been a handful. 

So, I take this day to tell you I love you;

You are cuter

Than you were some decades ago and old age

Wears on you as on Christmas so does snow. 

We have common aspirations, dreams and goals

And at the end of the day we pray together so we know. 

I am thankful that you put up with me and show me the way;

I have become more seasoned with gratitude for you

And all my old qualms have melted by the way. 

I wish I could do more for you, and I wish I could make you proud

So that you may be able to hold face and call my name out loud. 

I love that you are so simple and yet so charm-filled and endearing, 

Both of you, I'd like to thank you this day and tell you

That I wish you a long life and good health

And love

And prosperity and that my only wish is to 

Make you proud. 

A wish for my brother

My brother dearest, so handsome you regale, 

You show me what I little know and with your words

You show you care; I remember when you were my

Little one how I held you in my arms, played with

You all day, I did, and was enamoured by your charms. 

To this day your charms bewitch me and my love

For you is absolute, I wish you prosperity, success and

Good health and may in your life absolute joy take root. 

Drowning in the sea

The sea as vast as vast could be, 

I might drown myself in it with ease

And hold the spirit accountable for it

For it had caused me despair and agony. 

Life is the same from one day to the other

Creating prophecies, creating history

Life is the same from one day to

The other; never losing hope, never falling

Prey to evil machinations of the mind;

With kith and kin, being grateful

Life is the same from one day to

The other. 

stardust

It's dusk and I'm grateful for the stars 

Hidden in the monsoon clouds

That will show themselves to me

When the autumn heat is near

Those that I seek to see

Already I can hear; my wish

Is that when I sight them

My life is full of cheer

With mommy, poppy and buo

I wish to see stars sheer;

I wish for stars to take abode

In this motley heart of mine, 

So much they make me wonder

Of eternity, space and time;

The stardust in my bones

And the ones on the landing gear

Are with me as I gratefully resurrect

A nest of hope from where once lay my fears. 

hope

There is an emptiness inside me

That i cannot fill with anything, 

From past wrongs, wounded I 

Seek the fulfillment of my desires, 

A man may be to be by my side, 

Some jolly love may be to take

In my stride, a job may be that pays

And that I love, accolades may be. 

My heart full of gratitude I seek

To fill this void, with sugar nuts

And honey berry I seek to soar.

Anxiety

Anxiety creeps on you like a python

As you seek a breakthrough in your 

Circumstances. Victory is just around

The bend, ah, I wish I could feel it now.