Journal 10.18 am on 30.8.2026 I have a busy day

Dear Journal, 

I have a busy day ahead of me.

I saw a dream where my feet were dirty and I was cleaning them with water.

Now I have to go for the zadankai.

I will not sabotage my relationship with Arun. I'll be positive. I wont complain!

I am feeling:

Loving

Kind

Happy

I am grateful for God's infinite love, Grace and blessings on my life. 

Love,

Me.

10.21 am

Journal 3.57 pm on 29.8.2026 I will make the most of today

Dear Journal,

I will make the most of today!

I should not be happy with the crumbs that Arun throws me. Except once he has never ever apologised to me. He didnt wish me on my birthday. He insulted me in front of his friends. And he called me a rebound. He demeaned me.

It's exactly 4 pm. I dont know why I love him! Are the other guys around worse than him? I really want to meet some good quality men.

I woke up close to 1.30 in the afternoon today.

I just about a while ago chanted.

Today is one of the best days of my life.

Everytime I pray for money my heart feels physically broken. Why is that? It's exactly 4.04 pm.

I'll never forget that he told his friends in front of me: Mere paas char our ladkiyan hai. Par mai iske saath nahin rehta kyunki ye pagal hai. I'll never ever forget that! If he said that in front of me, he must have said far worse behind my back. I want to fight with him about it! I will not accept such insults!

I'm feeling so hurt at the moment.

Arun is a mean cruel sort of guy. Why on Earth did he make me fall in love with him? And why on Earth cant I get over him?

May be it's because Im such a kind soul and I keep him in my prayers.

Even though Im sexually attracted to Arun he may not be good for me.

Im at a crossroads in my heart.

I had a dream that I had a flight and it was delayed. Then it landed smoothly in the middle of the night. I saw Ma and Pa too.

Then I saw myself massaging Chumkimashis feet and she kept positioning herself upward on the mattress.

I saw Shivsankaran uncle making me message him and the letter D was prominent in my mind. And then I woke up.

I am feeling:

Happy

Serious

Angry with Arun

I am grateful for God's infinite love, Grace and blessings on my life. 

Love,

Me.

4.17 pm

Journal 1.43 pm on 29.8.2026 a dream of delays

Dear Journal,

I had a dream that I was waiting for someone to arrive by flight. But it got delayed. But the flight landed eventually.

I was then massaging Chumkimashis feet and she was completely relaxed.

I messaged Sivasankaran uncle. Was Arun in my dream? I dont remember.

My family was there in my dream.

Love,

Me.

1.46 pm

Journal 8.51 pm on 28.8.2026 another day has gone by

Dear Journal, 

Everytime I sit down to chant and as I pray for Arun I see him and that girl Rutuja being intimate in my mind's eye. I also feel they almost did it.

This is just my intuition and my intuition is never wrong.

I am feeling:

Happy

Heart hurt

I am grateful for God's infinite love, Grace and blessings on my life. 

Love,

Me.

8.54 pm

Journal 11.04 am on 28.8.2026 I saw Arun

Dear Journal,

I saw Arun in my dream. His name was Raj in my dream. I have a few associations with that name but Ill let that rest.

My shonapie Arun.

I am feeling:

Happy

Loving 

I am grateful for God's infinite love, Grace and blessings on my life. 

Love,

Me.

11.06 am

Journal 9.53 pm on 27.8.2026 Why?

Dear Journal,

I had finished my lunch and I was in my room. Then I heard Pa coughing virulently and I rushed out of my room to find him vomitting out all the food he has eaten. My cutest dad. This is the first time in my life that I saw him puking and I'm really worried.

Tomorrow is Rakhi. Ill have to buy rakhis for Buro.

I spent the entire day watching Tarot videos. The most popular Tarot readers on the web portray themselves as intuitively psychic. Even though I am intuitive that's something I'm unlikely to do.

PaPa messaged me today that he wants to meet. I told him that I'm busy working. 

Everytime I do something like this my mind goes to Arun who says he is always busy. Of course he has idle days watching movies and scrolling! But he doesnt want to talk to me.

Let me just give him the benefit of the doubt.

I did not bathe today. I did not chant today.

I had the most spectacular dream in the morning of cows, bulls and buffaloes. It was amazing!

I think I'll bathe and chant and watch Armaan's video and sleep.

I am feeling so positive and happy about my life at the moment.

All day long, literally all day long I thought about Arun's adorable nose. I love him. Stupid boy!

I am feeling:

Like bathing and oiling 

Happy

I am grateful for God's infinite love, Grace and blessings on my life. 

Love,

Me.

10.03 pm

Journal 12.44 am on 28.8.2026 the kind of life I want

Dear Journal, 

Ive been thinking about my future and the kind of life I want.

I want a regret free life where I fulfil all my responsibilities easily. I want to take care of my parents. I want love. I want Arun and I want Arun to be true to me and for our love to last over time.

I'm so happy that we are friends. When two people can be good friends they can be anything to each other.

I want Arun to be truthful with me. And in turn I promise him to be the most loyal and devoted girlfriend. I want Arun back in my life. I want to rekindle the romance.

I want my parents to be stress free, worry free, happy, healthy and prosperous. I want my parents to see me being successful while they are alive and I want them to live a long healthy happy life with good health and good fortune. I want to fulfil all my responsibilities towards my family and friends. 

I want a source of infinite money. May be a book Ive written to be a bestseller. I want something Ive created to give me infinite money.

I want a world where there is no poverty and people live in peace.

I never want to disappoint my loved ones.

I want to be stinking rich because I want to be generous and kind and give back to all those who have supported me. I want to create a legacy for my parents and my loved ones.

I want Buro and me to have a strong bond well into our old age.

I want to always be in love with Arun and I dont want anybody else. The feelings come and go. The intention is to love him devotedly. He deserves it. 

I want to be awarded and rewarded and I want to leave behind a legacy. I want to be remembered well after Ive passed.

I want my existence to mean that love is alive.

I want to take care of Arun into his old age.

I want to be Buro's greatest supporter.

I want to be wealthy and famous.

I want to make a difference to people's lives.

I want to be the eyes of society. I want to be the pillar of society. I want to be the great ship of society. I want to give hope and I want to serve humanity.

I want my story to be understood and I want love to be the force that drives my life.

I am feeling:

Happy

Clearheaded

I am grateful for God's infinite love,Grace and blessings on my life. 

Love,

Me.

1.05 am

I want the Nobel Prize for being an exemplary writer.