Journal 11.12 pm on 10.8.2026 kda

Dear Journal,

Yesterday Kda had a disgusted startled look on his face throughout the party. I hope everything is fine with him.

I managed to teach Shakespeare today. The fle students didnt come. I taught the esl students and the grade 8 igcse too.

I felt so lazy today.

I have a meeting with Tejal tomorrow.

My students are so naughty!

I am feeling:

Happy

Loving

I am grateful for God's infinite love, Grace and blessings on my life. 

Love,

Me.

11.15 pm

Journal 7.58 am on 10.8.2026 a dream

Dear Journal,

Yesterday I had my student. I taught him the igcse syllabus. It's exactly 8 am.

Then we went to Munima's house. I wore my pink and golden dress.

The food was yum. I chatted with everyone. It was lovely.

I came back home and puked like I normally do when I have acidity. And I went to meet Smita who was telling me about her manifestation workshop.

Joshomashi messaged that A and I are highly compatible but that he is so old. I should not have told her anything.

Now I'll prepare Shakespeare. I'll just go down for a short walk. It's going to be a good good day.

I saw a dream where people who are really evil are dying. That people are born evil or saintly. That I have magical powers and am famous.

Then I saw myself opening the 6o4 bedroom door and Pa sleeping.

I am feeling:

Happy

Loving

I am grateful for God's infinite love, Grace and blessings on my life. 

Love,

Me.

8.08 am

Journal 5.36 pm on 8.8.2026 spoke to Arun

Dear Journal,

ChatGpt calls Arun my love of a lifetime and rightly so. I messaged him today and he called. I feel so happy talking to him. I really really love him.

I'm in the garden writing this and there is a swarm of mosquitoes attacking me.

I think I saw Ashwini in my dream and I told her that I wont give her her watch back. In reality i dont know where her watch is. It's lost.

Today ma's friends came over for lunch. We had mutton biryani and fish kofta. I read tarot cards for a bunch of them. Arun is travelling this week.

Joshodhara mashi read my palm. She told me to be a writer. I'll be very successful as a writer and poet, that is what she said.

She also told me that I just need to make up my mind and I'll get married. If I decide on a person that person will be mine. I want Arun.

She told me that I might get a job with a publishing house in the near future and that writing is my talent and I should publish.

Now I have to help Ma out in the kitchen since Modelley has not been coming to work.

In addition to chanting Nam Myo Ho Renge Kyo I've been chanting the red tara and green tara mantras and Om Mani Padme Hum since yesterday.

I really want Arun in my life-- no one else will do.

I am feeling:

Itchy and bleeding because of mosquitoes

Happy

Full of love

I am grateful for God's infinite Love, Grace and Blessings on my life.

Love,

Me.

6.19 pm

Journal 9.09 am on 8.8.2026 seeing coomi

Dear Journal,

I think I saw Coomi Vevaina in my dream. I woke up feeling that I should have done my Masters in English when I cracked the entrance exam. However, at that time I chose to focus on my career.

I really miss Arun a lot.

My student will be here any time.

Last night I spent time with Twi and K on the building bench. K is the new bharate in Appi di's house.

Ma has her friends coming home today.

I am feeling:

Happy

Loving. I want someone to love.

I am grateful for God's infinite Love, Grace and Blessings on my life.

Love,

Me.

9.13 am

Journal 7.26 pm on 7.8.2026 life is so easy

Dear Journal,

I want some excitement in my life. I want someone to love.

RaTi messaged me around 4 saying he is an hour away and would like to meet me. It's 7.28 now and he is nowhere in sight.

Today I woke up well after 10 from a dream that I was in my next life. I was wondering in the dream how I died. Arun was there, Ma was there and Buro was there. There was a black object that encompassed something precious.

I saw Jhumpamdi in my dream with more sallow cheeks.

In the morning I went to the garden to chant and do some yoga. Then I studied a bit. I had fish and rice for lunch.

I sent Tanya some questions for the students for printouts.

Then in the evening I again went to the garden and chanted for an hour.

I smoked a few cigarettes today.

I am feeling:

Stable

Sobre

Loving

Full of love

Happy

Serious 

Iam grateful for God's infinite love, grace and blessings on my life.

Im sitting on a bench writing this. Melon just came and I petted him.

Love,

Me.

7.36 pm

Journal 10.38 am on 7.8.2026 dream

Dear Journal,

It's probably Dadu's birthday today.

I had a dream where I saw myself in my next life. Arun is there, right there for me to love. I saw Jhumpadi whose cheeks were more sallow. Ma was there. Buro was there in my next life. There was some object I was fussing over, but I don't remember the details of the object. Today I woke up after 10.

I smoked 3 cigarettes so far. I hope to not smoke any cigarettes.

My student says he will come tomorrow.

I better study today.

I am feeling:

Heartache

Like peeing

Happy

Loving

I am grateful for God's infinite Love, Grace and blessings on my life.

Love,

Me.

10.42 am

Ps: This feeling of feeling sexual is unbearable. I don't want to get frustrated.

I'm sitting in the garden to chant and do yoga and there are so many mosquitoes here.

I really miss Arun. I really love Arun.

May I have the strength to face this day beautifully. 

Love,

Me.

11.47 am

Journal 10.25 pm on 6.8.2026 feeling irritated

Dear Journal,

There should be a cap on my mother's concern.

Today Twi and me took walks and had panipuri. I was telling her how I read Ma's prayers in her diary-- she prayed for me to quit journalism, she prayed for Arun and me to break up, she prayed for me to not be a Tarot reader etc etc.

That whole Ma aspect is making me feel so irritated with her. She is so controlling!

I am feeling:

Irritated

Caught in my circumstances

I am grateful for God's infinite Love, Grace and Blessings on my life.

Love,

Me.

10.29 pm