Journal 12.11.2026 12.16 am back to Bombay

Dear Journal,

I woke up at 7.30 today and I don't remember my dream.

We are heading back to Mumbai in the morning.

I gifted BuMesho a bottle of wine.

We had crabs for lunch today at Rock Inn and we ate a sumptuous vegetarian meal at Avinash at night.

Im going to watch a few Tarot videos now and sleep.

I thought a lot about Arun today.

I love my parents.

1. Something I accomplished. 

A gift for BuMesho. Prayer. Good times spent with family.

2. Something I handled well.

Relationships.

3. Something I appreciated.

Food. Camaraderie. Good times. Weather. Nature's bountiful beauty. My new mediatation exercise. Prayer. Today was Bhai Phota.

4. Something I did towards my future self.

Prayer.

5. Something I learnt about myself.

I dont think Ill ever stop loving Arun. What should I do? I sent him tp messages today. I miss him. I love him.

I am feeling:

Happy

In love

Fat

I am grateful for God's infinite love, Grace, blessings and mercy on my life.

Love,

Me.

12.25 am

Ps: I also read Tarot for CMashi today.

Journal 10.11.2026 11.46 pm Ill remember this trip forever

Dear Journal,

I dont remember my dream from the morning. I woke up around 8.30 in the morning.

Ma, Pa and BMesho went to Panjim. Ma finally cleared her tummy.

CMashi was busy all morning with the doorknobs. Then before she went for a bath i went with Ghazi and bought coffee and kokam syrup.

I made coffee for both me and CMashi. I was telling her about lascivious directors. How AI has eaten into the writing market.

Then Mashi asked Ghazi to take me to Rock Inn for crabs. But the kitchen at Rock Inn was shut. Also the trio took time to deboard from the ferry and went to Avinash.

I had to wait for quite a bit to reach Avinash as Babban bhaiyya came to pick me up.

We had dal rice, squid fry, chonak fry for lunch.

At the moment DeJh is sending me many messages. Why is he like this? It seems like he has no self respect.

Then around 6 me Mashi and Mesho went to Island Bar. I had pudina feni and masala feni with fried prawns. 

Island Bar is a spot where they heal all sorts of ailments with feni. The masala feni for me was on the house.

There was this Goan tour guide there taking a couple around.

Then I came back home and chanted for quite some time. The ac started functioning today.

Bubul mesho skipped dinner. I was watching a Tarot video so Mashi and Ma left for Rock Inn. Then Pa drove me and him to Rock Inn.

I want to be there for my parents in every way. Pa my shona Pa. Ma my mikki Ma.

Two things happened with Mashi today.

Firstly, she doesnt respect Pa. I may have a gazillion problems with my parents but I want others to love and respect them.

Then at Rock Inn Mashi and Ma gave me a long lecture about growing fat and said that im becoming really fat. I was not allowed to eat what I wanted today. And Mashi was quite rude to me.

Oh yes... while chanting I killed a scorpion and then a swarm of ants with water in the balcony.

I also thought a lot about Arun today.

While me and Mashi were listening to music Mashi gave me gyaan on 70s filmdom and I told her that I would introduce her to my friend Arun with whom she can discuss movies.

1. Something I accomplished.

Prayer and relationships. I also didnt snooze till 1 today.

2. Something I handled well.

I handled Mashi's hostility quite well.

3. Something I appreciated.

Food. Relationships. Prayers. Mashi and Mesho's home. Mashi told me how she spent over 5 crore on her house and more. She discussed work with me. I told her about the Khaleej Times offer.

4. Something I did towards my future self.

I prayed. I worked on my relationships.

5. Something I learnt about myself.

Im reactive.

I am feeling:

Nauseous

Want to be free of addiction

Happy

Loving

Missing Arun

Concerned about Ma and Pa

I am grateful for God's infinite love, Grace, blessings and mercy on my life. 

Love,

Me.

12.17 am (11.11.2026)

Journal 7.11 pm on 9.11.2026 it's so hot in Goa!

Dear Journal,

Maharashtrians really try my patience!

Yesterday we shifted into Bubul Mesho's house. Pa, Ma and me went to watch Ramayana. I loved it.

I even spoke to Arun on my return from Parvorim. Arun says there is no one else. Really? Then why arent we together? I love him shooooo much.

Yesterday RAurad again sent me many caustic oshobbho messages. For once I gave it back to him.

The ac doesnt work here. But Im so happy to be in Goa. Im going to come here more often. Bubul Mesho is planning to make his Goa house into a homestay.

I had a dream last to last night. I dreamt that Arun and I had entered a huge community hall to eat our lunch. There were plenty of circular tables there covered in white cloth. And it was crowded. But we had to leave from there because I was too famous in my dream and would be recognised. Then I woke up.

I also saw a vivid dream last night that I dont remember.

I helped Bubul mesho set up a few antique pieces in the morning. Ma, Pa and Mashi were at the doctors. Ma has been finding it difficult to pass stool and is constipated.

Apparently the doctor asked Pa not to make lemon juice in the morning because it leads to acidity and to have papaya instead.

Today we went and had lunch at Avinash RandB. Yesterday I treated Pa to lunch. The food got spoilt by the time I reached home.

Im waiting for my payment from Ruchita.

Everybody told me to stop smoking today.

Ma and Mashi are setting up the house.

Arun hasnt checked his messages in over 5 hours.

I even spoke to Twi today.

1. Something I accomplished.

Ive been chanting regularly.

2. Something I handled well.

Relationships.

3. Something I appreciated.

Cma and Bume's beautiful home. The food. The sun. Relationships.

4. Something I did towards my future self.

I chanted and prayed.

5. Something I learnt about myself.

I love the rural life!

I am feeling:

Happy

Loving

Hot and sweaty

I am grateful for God's infinite love, Grace, blessings and mercy on my life. 

Love,

Me.

7.25 pm

Journal 7.33 pm on 7.11.2026 Divar is so idyllic

Dear Journal, 

Last evening Shou called and I spoke to him for over an hour and a half. His father is not well.

Arun said he is busy and cant talk. May be he is partying.

I went to sleep around 1 am and woke up at 1.30 in the afternoon.

I swam for half an hour today.

We ate pizza for lunch at Susan and Theo's.

Im so enjoying this rural sojourn. Ill go back with so many memories.

1. Something I accomplished.

Im chanting.

2. Something I handled well.

Relationships. Pa's irritability. Ma's tirades. Im so enjoying myself.

3. Something I appreciated.

My parents. CMashi and Bubulmesho's hospitality. This pristine island of Divar. It's all so beautiful. Ive fallen in love with Divar.

4. Something I did towards my future self.

I chanted and prayed.

5. Something I learnt about myself.

People love getting to know me. At Susan's all of them wanted to know more about me even though I was so quiet.

I am feeling:

Happy

Loving

Experiencing complicated emotions

I am grateful for God's infinite love, Grace, blessings and mercy on my life. 

Love,

Me.

7.45 pm

Journal 6.11.2026 5.34 pm The food is out of the world

Dear Journal,

I slept till 9. Woke up, ate bf and then fell right back to sleep till 11.30.

I went for Bumesho and Cmashis griha pravesh. I wanted the purohit who had come to read my palm but no, I didnt do that.

I came back to the hotel. Then we all went to eat at Avinash Bar and Restaurant.

I had a dream in the morning of a smooth bodied mouse scurrying in our 604 kitchen. It goes and lands itself into a pot of khichdi. Then I see that someone is transferring the khichdi into another container on flame to heat it. And Im worried that the mouse will get cooked.

I had two whole pints of beer today.

I really want to be super rich and spoil Ma and Baba. I want to be super duper rich. Im having a good, relaxing time in Goa.

I am feeling:

Happy

Full of love

I am grateful for God's infinite love, Grace, blessings and mercy on my life. 

Love,

Me.

5.41 pm

Joirnal 5.11.2026 7.30 pm Im in Goa

Dear Journal,

I literally slept for just one hour last night. I got up, bathed and we rushed through the sea link and coastal road to catch our 8-hour trip in Konkan Express to Goa.

Pa tried to give me a pep talk in the train. He said you cant have it all. I believe I can even though I dont have much to show for it.

Pa said that I was doing so well as a Tarot reader, why did I stop it midway. 

Pa lost two friends in a span of two days. And I think that that shook him.

I removed all my angst over Ma telling me that she doesnt want me to read Tarot.

Dad said I wont be there forever my Buri. Please decide what exactly you want to do and tread on that path. He said if it's Tarot reading I have his full support.

I told Pa how Ma chants for whatever she wants and affects me. Im actually quite irritated with Ma.

Our train was an hour behind schedule.

We got to Fisherman's wharf by 3. Ive not been to the Bombay ones but Jaydee took me there in Chennai.

I stuffed myself with food. And here I am after half an hour of chanting. Itll be great if I can stop smoking.

Arun ko maaro goli... I need to take care of my career and finances.

1. Something I accomplished today.

2 hours of chanting. An insightful conversation with Pa. An otherwise peaceful journey. Good conversation. Good food.

2. Something I handled well.

My conversation with Pa. I needed to tell him about my issues with Ma. Im here in Goa only to relax. Ill chant for another half an hour.

3. Something I appreciated.

My parents' care of me. The lovely lunch. The beautiful house I'm put up in.

4. Something I did towards my future self.

I chanted. I should treat my father more respectfully. I love my dad.

5. Something I learnt about myself.

I need to heal from ongoing Mother Wounds.

Ill chant now and work on my book.

I am grateful for God's infinite Love, Grace, blessings and mercy on my life. 

Love,

Me.

7.46 pm

Journal 4.04 pm on 4.11.2026 love

Dear Journal,

I woke up around 9.30 10 and fell right back to sleep till 1.40 in the afternoon. I was so drowsy and so groggy.

They say that you only have to wish for something till it comes to pass. I havent yet chanted today.

Arun messaged back. He didnt say he doesnt want Old Monk... he said 'Just Enjoy Your Self.'

I had a dream where I saw that DuMa had prepared a corn dish with a creamy base. And that there was another dish with a creamy base. I also saw in my dream that Lakshit was a trick student, a dummy student in Metamorph. Ive almost finished packing. I just need to buy myself some shorts. Pa has thrown away all my shorts.

I saw Arun in my dream but I dont remember the details. I really love Arun. I hope he is in a good mood. Tons and tons of kisses for him.

I am feeling:

Happy

Annoyed with the sound of traffic

I am grateful for God's infinite love, Grace, blessings and mercy on my life. 

Love,

Me.

4.10 pm

Ps: yesterday Pa told me something poignant. I was complaining about Ma to him, and he said: 'Dont think about what Ma is doing or not doing. Think about your own karma. If Ma is chanting for something beyond your wishes karma will bite her. See how much pain she is in at the moment. Feel sorry for her. Dont get angry.'

5.05 pm