Journal 10.44 pm on 16.7.2026 affirmations

Dear Journal,

Today was spent going up and down preparing documents for SIR.

I spent the day reading up on affirmations. I smoked a little. I even spoke to Arun.

It's been a sober day. I bumped into Veronica, a devout Christian.

Tomorrow better be more fruitful.

I am feeling:

Good

Pumped up with colas

I really want to stop smoking.

I am grateful for God's infinite love, Grace and blessings on my life.

Love,

Me.

10.48 pm

Two idiots in love

The road was straight ahead

With orchard groves of trees

And you stopped to get me gooseberries

To be savoured succulently.

Many passersby stopped to ask

What I was munching

Where should I start

And I hailed the cab of life

Spearheaded by my dapperest guy.

You held out your hand to me

And I must say quite piquantly

That having you by my side

Meant that I could conquer the world!

I was so shame-faced by my past

As accolade upon accolade 

Dressed up my bar

And I gave the winning speech

In my gown

Not crying, without a frown.

The road was bumpy ahead

And many hailed the cab

In your stead

But the chiefly reserved spot

I kept for you

So that you could change

In and hop on two by two.

We looked pretty a couple of

Idiots in love,

Held fast and long

By a hand above

And surely as you know

The baker made buns

And the butcher a stew

And very soon

We were at the feast of life

Two idiots in love

Without strife.

Journal 11 21 am on 16.7.2026 a dream

Dear Journal,

Ma's birthday went quite well. Buo and Pa had a spat but all in all it was good with home food.

I woke up from a dream in the morning that I was talking to Shraddha Oza about her new baby. And then I drive a rickshaw with Shraddha Oza sitting in the passenger seat.

A white car grooves by turning, nearly missing my rickshaw. Then a lady tells Shraddha why arent you talking about other things and I tell the lady that Shraddha has a twin brother.

And then at some point after dwelling on the word twin I woke up.

I am feeling:

Happy

It's so funny how the feeling of love just disappears. Love then must be consistency.

I woke up in the morning and had three cigarettes. Then I chanted for half an hour.

I'll chant for another half an hour now.

I'll eat my breakfast and bathe and chant.

Love,

Me.

11.27 am

Journal 8 42 pm on 15.7 2026 my prayers

Dear Journal;

It's my shona Ma's birthday today! She is looking so sweet and regal. She had a wd study meet today. She is wearing a purple and golden saree and her hair looks long.

Many people when in deadlock have resorted to chanting.  I chanted for 90 minutes yesterday and 100 minutes today. I can go it some more.

I'm feeling really intimidated by the tall order that Metaporphose has put on me. I must live up to their expectations! Till a kosen rufu work from home job comes up I have to stick to this Monday routine.

Amongst other things I'm chanting for a kosen rufu friendship to blossom between me and Arun, for a kosen rufu work from home job, for my loved ones' long life and good health and to quit smoking. Im also praying for other people.

The other day AstAro told me that I must chant for unlimited self esteem. She even shared a study with me. So I've started praying for that along with my vow. They say not one prayer to the Lotus Sutra goes unanswered. I dont ever want to feel so deadlocked over money ever! Im also praying for a prosperous existence.

Bu and Sady are yet to arrive! The birthday celebrations have to kick off. I hope to quit smoking. I bumped into Bha and Twi downstairs. I'm feeling happy and in high life condition.

I am feeling:

Lucky

Happy

Loving

Pretty in my new pink dress

I am grateful for God's infinite love, Grace and blessings on my life.

Love,

Me.

8.53 pm

Ps: I went for a pedicure today. I dreamt in the morning that I am applying black nailpolish on my finger nails. I have never applied black nailpolish in reality.

Journal 8.54 pm on 14.7.2026 I miss Arun

Dear Journal,

It's Ma's birthday tomorrow! Woohoo!

Last night I got a surprise reply from Arun. That put me in a happy frame of mind.

I just got off after meeting SeeDhi. I told her plainly that she thinks pessimistically and that there is such a thing as love. She was generally complaining about the same old things. I think she felt kind of bad because it showed on her face but I just pointed out the obvious.

I went to meet Tejaurad today and she really wants me to get on board with her and teach a bunch of students English.

That means getting back to Shakespeare and the likes of it. I'm not superelated about it because come on! That's a tough job!

I came home and soaked in Armaan's channel.

I think I'm kind of waiting around for Arun in a way if I have to be completely honest with myself. I still love him so....

I am feeling:

Happy

Heart full of love

I am grateful for God's infinite love, Grace and blessings on my life.

Love,

Me.

9.02 pm

Ps: oh yes! And Shou called saying something like someone is doing black magic on him. He is kind of flaky.

9.03 pm

Journal 8.46 pm on 13.7 2026 I need to change my prayers

Dear Journal,

Today I had an activity with AstAro. She told me about her 2-year-long prayers. That made me feel that I should change my prayers. My vow is just not serving me.

We had the wd meeting. Ill be singing I Arise with SeeDhi and Oyndrila.

I think I'll chant a bit more now.

I'll read the article AstAro shared with me again.

I HAVE TO QUIT SMOKING!

I am feeling:

Determined

Happy

Full of love

I am grateful for God's infinite love, Grace and blessings on my life.

Love,

Me.

8.51 pm

Journal 12.27 pm on 13.7.2026 a dream

Dear Journal,

I woke up from a dream where some students were repeating things as if I had punished them. I dont remember the dream that well.

I woke up in the morning and chanted for about 10 minutes. I've smoked 4 cigarettes so far and had one samosa and two colas.

I took my laptop to Applecare. It needs to get formatted.

I think I'll chant for half an hour now. I hope to not smoke any cigarettes.

Love,

Me.

12 30 pm