Paradise

Some people enter our lives

For a reason, a season, a time

And from them if you'd like it

You can never truly hide

And some day when it's blooming 

I hope our paths

Will again smoothly collide

And till then may the heavens

Rain on you absolutely

The joys of Paradise.

Journal 7.14 pm on 25.9.2026 Arun....

Dear Journal,

I woke up in the morning from a dream with Subbu and her dad in it. We were competing with each other in the game of life. And Subbu's dad was really helping her by making things for her. But in the end I come out as a winner in the game of life.

What a dream! It was more elaborate than that but I don't remember the dream. Arun, Ma, Pa, Buro were all in the dream.

I had to teach Madhav in the morning. Then I went for the study meet for our exam. Then I spoke to Nimisha for half an hour after that.

I came back home and dialled Arun's number. Arun finally called me up. We spoke for a really long time. We could have talked for more time but i was feeling all grimy in this September end heat.

I love Arun. I truly madly deeply love him. I told him about my yearnings and he said I should masturbate. I really am crazy about this man. He is shoo cute.

I dont want to imagine pornographic scenarios in my life. So Im not going to do that. 

Then I ate lunch,  had a bath.

It's Ganesh Visarjan today.

I ordered Chupa Chups and mishti doi and chocolate for after lunch.

Arun said that he was having lunch from Petuk. My baby, my cutie, my shonapie.

Right now Im taking a walk in the building. There are so many mosquitoes here!

I was just talking to Soha and Hasan's mom about their studies.

I am feeling:

Itchy

Sweaty

Happy

Pretty

I am grateful for God's infinite love, Grace, blessings and mercy on my life. 

Love,

Me.

7.31 pm.

Journal 8 57 pm 24.9.2026 bhagwaan ke ghar mein

Dear Journal,

They say Bhagwaan Ke Ghar Mein Der Hai Andher nahin.

Today I woke up around 10. I saw an elaborate dream with Arun in it but I dont remember the dream. Hmmmphf....

I wish I could remember the dream. It's been over a week but Arun hasnt called me up.

I taught Madhav. I went to Metamorph. And I spent some time with Tanya and Ruchita.

It's exactly 9 pm.

It's been over a week but Arun hasnt called me up.

Im so lonely, so alone, so desolate.

I am feeling:

Heavy-hearted

Pretty

Satty told me to dye my hair today.

I am grateful for God's infinite love, Grace, blessings and mercy on my life. 

Love,

Me.

9.03 pm

Letter to Arun 10.31 pm on 23.9.2026 Hey there

Hey there Arun!

How are you? Unless gay all my guy friends have hit on me at some point. I went to meet one such friend today-- his name is Simit Bhagat.

We spent 2 hours with each other, catching up, discussing life. He runs a film production agency now and I hope I can work with him.

It was so hot outside today. I was telling Simit about how difficult Ive been finding it to get over you.

I had a full blown anxiety attack as I alighted from the Metro. It was accompanied with feeling sexual. But I dont think I want to channel this any other way.

Ive kind of stopped going out. I told Simit about how I dont want to date any guy and how lonely I am. Thats the thing with old friends right, they know you from a better time.

Simit needs someone to manage his company and he has been interviewing people. He said he'll come home this week to read my play. It's awesome to spend time with friends.

I kind of think I overshared with him, but he said it's completely alright. He also spoke about his girlfriend etc. Etc.

He runs a company that helps other companies manage their csr activity. He also makes movies and he hopes I can collaborate with him.

I was telling him about how Ive become so averse to dating and men that Im telling everybody that Im asexual. He laughed about it.

Ive literally been telling people I dont want to have sex... that Im asexual.

I look so jhalli these days, it's unbelievable!

Tomorrow I have to go to Kandivli.

Hope life is treating you well! Hope you are fine Shona! I wish I could read letters from you to know what is on your mind.

Ill brush my teeth and go to sleep now.

Hope your days are going well.

Bye!

Journal 8 21 pm on 13.9.2026 a little bit of this and that

Dear Journal, 

I left around 4 to meet SimBha. I spent about 2 hours with him. We discussed all sorts of things.

He said he will come home this coming week. It's really nice to meet old friends. I felt I could really open up to him. I told him about how difficult Im finding it to move on.

Then I hopped into a Metro to come home.

And as I was alighting, I felt that strange ears ringing sensation and an uprising of sexuality.

It's all good to say you should masturbate. But I cant. I cant seem to be able to do that.

I came home to a napping Pa and an absconding Ma.

Will Arun call me up this week?

Ive spent too much money this month.

I hope SimBha hires me.

I am feeling:

Cooler than an hour ago.

I am grateful for God's infinite love, Grace, blessings and mercy on my life. 

Love,

Me.

8.27 pm

Journal 1.16 pm on 23.9 2026 dirty linen dream

Dear Journal,

I woke up close to 10 30. I saw a dream where I was married to Nash and washing clothes. I bought 4 types of soap-- liquid, powder, cake and one more, and concluded that liquid soap is the best.

I also saw Arun in the dream where I love him and he loves me.

I woke up thinking Dont wash your Dirty Linen in Public.

This could relate to my memoir. I dont want to paint anybody in poor light. I dont want to character assassinate. If I give one poor point about a person, I want to give two good ones to support that person.

Because my life is because of the people who inhabit it.

It's Madhav's birthday today. I had a class with him today. Teachers are mean to their students. That is why I dont like being a teacher. Teachers are rude and mean to each other and to their students.

Then I got onto a call with Tejal and Tanya.

SiBha also messaged that we can meet today. I also have to get my laptop repaired.

It's a full day ahead.

I am feeling:

Grimy because I didnt bathe yesterday.

Frustrated 

Deeply in love with Arun

Hopeful

I am grateful for God's infinite love, Grace, blessings and mercy on my life. 

Love, me.

1.27 pm

Tomorrow

I tread onto my eternal path of goodness

All stealthy and swift, devoid of any rudeness

With love and high life force as a gift.

As I walk ahead the stars guide me

As I create and use my golden voice

With gold and silver raining upon me

Even precious jewels from the heavens above.

Right now I am hankering

After any small penny saved

But tomorrow is upon me

With all its glories wrapped in jade.

What I see I would not have imagined before,

Infinite money that's the lore,

Every penny for my love,

Every ounce of beauty

Held with gloves.

You saw me yesterday and you see me tomorrow

But what of today? Without you it is sorrow.

I dont need to trade in money for your love

Because I have you with all our stuff

So regal and so sound

With wisdom most profound.

I cannot imagine today

The riches tomorrow will bring

But I can ignite the hope within 

And songs of love and life softly sing.

The riches arent no burden

And glory doesnt come all of a sudden

For every poem I write

I see you in hindsight.