Journal 1.36 pm on 18.8.2026 missing Arun

Dear Journal,

I woke up well after 11 today. I was so darned sleepy. I don't even remember my dream.

I woke up feeling so much love for Arun. I feel like kissing his nose.

I missed meetings with TAurad and SeeDhi. RaTi and AAlam called but I missed their calls on purpose. I definitely don't want to talk to RaTi. And I dont know what Aalam wants from me. He messaged me that he has quit his job. May be he wants a Tarot reading.

I really miss Arun a lot.

I think I'll go down and get some yoga done.

I have to meet TAurad at 5 and SeeDhi at 7 now.

I wish I had remembered my dream.

I am feeling:

Happy

I am grateful for God's infinite love, Grace and blessings on my life. 

Love, 

Me.

1.42 pm

Journal 11.25 pm on 17.8.2026 the Arun song keeps playing in my head

Dear Journal, 

The song I wrote for Arun keeps playing in my head. I hope he is fine.

I taught my students today. The day just whooshed by. I didnt really feel like going today and I took a rickshaw back and forth.

I am here to serve my students to my best possible ability. I'm so happy that I faced the day.

Tarini says things like she wants to die. Dhyaan is rebellious. And I bought Rishaan a samosa pav today.

I love my students. I love children. I love the youth. As my students tell me tales from their lives I also regale them with stories from my life.

Today with the Grade 8 batch we discussed strict parents and I felt that I grew up with a pretty angry mother. She has scarred me with violence and hurtful words unfiltered.

Life is really about taking that leap of faith.

I came back home and finished an Armaan video in which he said if you live in the present pretending that something awesome is about to happen great things unfold. He spoke about having a positive mindset and living in the here and now. He is quite the charming.

I miss Arun a lot. I hope life is treating him kindly. He is so much like Ma with his harsh treatment and harsh words.

And I really wish Ma had a far gentler personality. Her anger precedes her reputation.

I am feeling:

Happy

Slightly resentful

Awake and bright

I am grateful for God's infinite love, Grace and blessings on my life. 

Love,

Me.

11.39 pm

Journal 9.49 am on 17.8.2026 a dream of an exam

Dear Journal,

I had a dream that I aced an exam with the highest marks and was helping other people crack the exam well after my results.

I saw people I was helping.

I woke up rather late today and have to prepare Shakespeare.

I am feeling:

Heart full of love

I am grateful for God's infinite love, Grace and blessings on my life. 

Love,

Me.

9.52 am

Journal 10.57 pm on 16.8.2026 Buos house

Dear Journal,

Me and Ma went to Buo's house today to take care of the dog and the cat. Then Sadhya came home.

I was telling Ma and Sadhya about how I'm feeling so lonely and about my interaction with RaTi yesterday. 

The truth is that I miss Arun. He really understood me.

Except Shakespeare all my lesson plans are prepared for tomorrow. I'll plan shakespeare tomorrow.

I am feeling:

Happy

Bright and alert after 5 cloud 9s

Loving towards Arun

I am grateful for God's infinite love, Grace and blessings on my life. 

Love,

Me.

11.03 pm

Journal 2.12 pm on 16.8.2026

Dear Journal,

I woke up close to 10 from a dream I dont remember. I think I saw Arun in my dream.

Then I had an insatiable desire to hear his voice. So I left him messages. And then I called him up because he didnt check those messages.

He is shoo cute, shoo shweet, such a good boy... I love him.

I need to prepare for tomorrow's class.

Idling around just wont do.

I had contained smoking quite a bit and again I'm smoking tons of cigarettes.

DeJh left me some messages on active imagination. I don't quite trust him.

Also, RaTi called but I didnt take his call. I let it remain missed.

I'm really missing Arun a lot these days.

I am grateful for God's infinite Love, Grace and Blessings on my life.

I am feeling:

Heart full of love

Love,

Me.

2.18 pm

Journal 9.40 pm on 15.8.2026 a record number of entries

Dear Journal, 

Today Ive probably filled you with the maximum entries.

I'm feeling so alone and so empty. I have nobody to talk to. I don't want to talk to DeJh because he is too affectionate. RaTi pissed me off today. And Arun doesn't talk to me that much anymore.

I feel like I'm on an island abandoned with crowds around me but not a soul to talk to. Loneliness is a real thing-- it's a real problem.

I'm sitting downstairs writing this. I'll go home and chant and study.

I am feeling:

Happy

Lonely

Quiet

Desolate

Solemn

I am grateful for God's infinite love, Grace and blessings on my life. 

Love,

Me.

9.45 pm

Journal 4.41 pm on 15.8.2026 Ive made myself clear

Dear Journal,

I messaged both RaTi and DeJh that I'm not interested in them. DeJh became defensive and RaTi apologised.

I don't buy the Rajneesh philosophy of free sex.

I don't want so much attention from men. I told Pa that and he said that I'm roaming around in short clothes, smoking cigarettes, of course people get the wrong impression!

I love my dad. He's such a rockstar guy!

Also I really hope Arun is fine.

I am feeling:

Happy

Focused

I am grateful for God's infinite love, Grace and blessings on my life. 

Love,

Me.

4.52 pm