Sweetest love

 This day our conversation is sweetest

And you have a deep realisation as the evening

Progresses that you can trust me,

And you vow to be trustworthy for me.

Loyal devotional love ensues,

Filling the night air with victory hues,

Lovely love is everywhere,

You are never letting me go.

We are the apple of all eyes,

A pretty sight that colours

The night a beautiful golden,

We are committed and

I realise how much

You want to make this work,

Life is good, life is filled with love;

Our love is a tale of devotion and victory.

Victory Day

 Today is Victory Day

And Victory is my name

And Victory is thy name.

This dual victory is a

State of love infinite

That is absolute victory defined.

Let us embrace each other,

Come together brother and sister,

Let us sing songs about winning

Over our prejudices, biases, and sins

Because Victory is my name

And Victory is thy name,

This day is Victory Day.    

As lovely as lovely can be

 I am getting to know you

It's not so easy you know

You are lovely

As lovely can be.

I hope to be yours

I really do

But everybody tells me

It's very complicated

Which it is

And I was hoping 

You would be

Happy to see me

But you aren't

The only person 

I have to think of you know

As lovely as lovely can be.

Complicated

There are a million complications

But with hope of clear redemption,

A thousand misconstructions

And tardy misconstruings,

A million heart strings

Strum together alluring

Me to you and us together.

Tell me something dear,

Would we be interesting

Without these complicated

Tough heart strings?

May you always play

Melodies dear and clear

To the beatings of my heart

That paces up and down and about

At the entity of you.

I'll never give up on you

That's like a promise true

I have made even when blue

Because you yourself

Play the sweetest symohonies.

journal 26.9.2024 15.32 pm

Dear Journal,

Dating Kali is exasperating. He makes me happy, I love him, he loves me -- that is why we are together.

Firstly, he is married and doesn't want to leave his wife who he loves.

Secondly, he sets such high benchmarks for me. I have to be prim and proper, good looking, beautiful, talented, and yesterday he said he would drop me like a hot brick if I am not good at my work.

Frankly, I just want a man to settle down with, let me be, dote on me and may be raise a child with me without putting so much stress and so much pressure on me.

Kali is very very difficult to be with. He is aggressive, angry, and keeps saying sleazy things.

Everything I write here seems to advise me to take it slow. I think I'll just sit with him till 10 or 11 today.

I need to take care of myself. He is demanding of me, very demanding of me and my time.

I want someone to love me for who I am, the inner me. I do feel I am a beautiful person on the inside. He appreciates that but wants me to be a perfect 10.

Should I message him? I need to let this out.

I've been feeling really stressed out over us.

Life is good. I've been procrastinating big time over the website project. I need to get that done. I haven't been sleeping enough or eating well. Arun is not easy to be with.

I am grateful for my life and its every experience.

Love,

Me

heart

The heart feels it all.

Have you also felt just so?

Every grief, every treachery 

Is recorded in it you know.

It expands wide with the

Tintinnabulation of Truth,

Serenity and joy, the heart

Operates on the divine principle

Of love that is soul music;

Every symphony, Every rhythm 

Is recorded in its harmonious

Beating: lub dub lub dub

So the heart goes;

Mine has been shattered

Into bits sometimes

And expanded to embrace

All humankind and the ether

That nourishes it has felt

Melodies and cacophony,

And it's still going strong--

My heart for you.

Your eyes

Your eyes, soft eyes that

Light up with a story, that

Bring a spark to your face,

Your beautiful soft eyes.

Your lovely grin as you hide

All the pain, as you regale me

With lovely tales from your life

That touches my heart

Bringing tears to my eyes.

The smell of your sweet skin

After a hard day at work,

Your alcoholic stupor brings

Many gleams to my spirit.

Our love that I thought would endure

Of that I wished upon and made sure,

You and yours that I loved true,

Wholly -- where there is imperfection

The sun shines with a mighty glow.

I loved you, I still do with all your

Imperfections, your salty taste, your

Bright aura. I think I was too imperfect

To warm your heart true aglow.

Maturity

These wedding gifts in wrapping

Paper lying neatly in a pile

Indicate we are on to something

Significant and I could be worth your while.

Love is precious, love is nurtured;

I could have really chosen anyone

But nobody makes me feel the way you do

So you are my chosen one.

Are you happy? Will this last?

Do you have the maturity to make it work?

Time will tell but time has stood still;

This is a good times burst.

Getting over fear

I shouldn't fear losing you,

I fear losing your cute smile,

I wish you were less contemptuous

And more sweet, less vile.

I love you when you love me

And that is why I was scared,

You shouldn't fear ignominy

And I won't fear work in my stead.

Our friendship is golden,

I really care about you,

Let each step pave the way

For what love and life would do.

Love

The mighty waves on the sunlit crags

Surrender to the horizon in all their might.

Just so oh love I mighty and strong

Somewhere distant seek the horizon

In you so that I could give in, give out

My vast heart, just a tiny vessel for your

Unrelenting grace. Love oh love, you engulf me.

The broken pieces of my heart

I had a hope in my heart

That you were the one

And then you broke it

Into pieces by saying

You were already 

Betrothed and I would

Always be there.

I understand not

What transpired

When someone

Said we should 

Part. The future

Is an uncertainty

Like a bouquet

Full of roses

And lilies

Wilting

In the sun.

I'm not one

To lose hope

Since I see

Good

Even

In

A

Rock.

I would

Never

Lose

Hope

On 

You.

Are you happy?

I hope you

Are

But

You seem

Like you

Have distant

Thoughts

On 

Your

Mind.

You

Say

You

Would never

Leave her.

What am I

Supposed 

To do

With

The

Broken

Pieces 

Of my

Heart?

letter to arun

Dear Arun,

How are you? How was your day?

First things first, we really need to clear the air on your lover's lane. Having said that know that I have zero expectations from you given the circumstances of our relationship.

I feel great pity for you. You love your wife, you're attached to her but you can't be true to her. I feel like you are taking me for granted. But you know what that's alright.

It's not about gifts you buy, or the money you spend or the time we kill together. Love is heart work, it's about tending the heart.

You think your wife is the ultimate woman. She's the woman behind all your achievements. She's the most girly girl you know. And I'm one fourth the woman she is. You surely do love her. You should have been true to her. That you have not been is such a pity it makes me sad for you, Me and her.

You love me too. But hey! We just met.

If I were half the man you are if I were a man I would be true to my wife given that legitimately you are with her.

I have nothing against her but I don't want to be the one taking care of her feelings and your feelings while nobody is taking care of my feelings.

You are not to blame because we've just met.

The ball is really in your court.

All I want is this week for my family. I've been spending a lot of time with you and ignoring the essential in my life with no due for it.

Ps: I have nothing against your wife, you or your family. I love all of you.

If you really study the circumstances I'm the one bound to get hurt and im already hurting. I don't know what to do. 

Good night! Sleep well and see pleasant dreams. Byee

better half

There is a deep despair in my heart

That I have to share you with her;

It broke my heart in two when you

Said I'm not half a woman like her.

You love her but you don't that I

Understand; but you would choose

Her over me, I don't like that

Stand for I want you for you.

Does she make you happy?

Does she kiss you the way I do.

You haven't called today and on

Me a mighty gloom looms.

I don't want to please you so,

What I want is to love you wholly

And more. Is that wrong?

Is that too  low.

You can't bear me children,

Still it's you I must have,

Choose me, be with me,

Let me be your better half.

Tomorrow

 Who knows what tomorrow will bring

Or how the next moment makes you feel,

Who will leave, who we receive and over

Whom we bereave. Who knows really!

If the Earth will melt, or snow will become

Extinct or we will love till a 123.

My heart embraces all to see the pain

Each one carries whether rich or poor.

Riches only add value to one's coffer,

Then what about the riches of the soul!

Those I would like to harbour

Till beauty and joy in the moonshine 

And the sunrise touch us to revive in

Me a longing of all those dreams

Dreamt long ago.

Love

 There are many wishes and many desires.

There is really only one wish -- Love.

No more can one ignore its vitality

For vitality. Love makes the world

Go around, it spurs the imagination,

It strengthens the body's nerves and cells

As such. It opens the heart and mind

To experiences to be savoured.

Love is essential. Love to love.

The hurricane

The hurricane came with a gusty force

And swept away all my belongings

And shook my fortitude to the core.

I clung to a reed that seemed so small,

Oh! But how strong it was, how mighty strong,

How deluded was I to think a simple reed was weak.

The hurricane had me standing naked,

My clothes flying about with not a soul to watch

My helpless grappling of a bamboo reed.

It must have been hours, it must have been days,

Weeks or months or years and the hurricane passed;

The silent gentle breeze was deafening.

All about me were piles of rubble and dirt

And muck and corpses and after an era I felt the warm sun,

Seeing the belongings of those gone broken, strewn about.

I was tired, I was famished, I had fought so hard,

I carried my weary feet where must lie

The rubble of my erstwhile house.

It must have been an era when I reached

To find my home intact with my wild garden

Designed; all thanks to a weak bamboo reed.

Was my life spared because my home awaits

A delicious supper, a beautiful new slate

On which I write soulful songs for those gone by so long?

Even to this day my heart does shudder

When I think about the day the hurricane came,

A strong song I sing, I utter words of hope and love; I elate

All thanks to a simple reed I may have trampled at play on a bright day.

The freeway

There are many forks

On all the paths I see ahead.

May I take the road not taken

And discover its sights and sounds.

There is no sign post and it's

Surprisingly clear -- a freeway.

I've taken the freeway that's never

Been taken -- it's empty, it's made for me.

Would you care to join me on this

Never-before-taken path? It's sunny and moony

And lovely, and sweet, it's not neat but

Mesmerisingly silent and calm.

I've shed my tears and I'm happy to be

Here on the road never taken before.

I'm a free bird on this freeway of life;

There's plenty of room but let's not crowd it here.

two-timing

So let me make one sweet thing clear,

I hold you high in esteem and very dear.

You have me now, but you have her too,

Are you scared? Are you feeling tears?

Frankly, I am torn to bits by your devotion to her

It's something that my gut does wrench;

I thought I would never let you go

But I can't have you two-timing us so.

The thing at the end in this game of life

Is that love is paramount where it does reside;

You have two women that complicate your heart,

If you're happier with her I'll let you dart.

They say where there is no pain, there is no gain,

Where the moon shines, it doesn't rain.

Let me know what your decision is please,

Don't keep me tarrying and hurting to bits.

She is a woman, a mother, your wife,

Then where do I stand, you say she's better

And you do not lie, somebody somewhere is getting hurt;

Who is it? Is it her or me, love?

Try and understand where I come from--

I wanted nothing at all, but your heart

That I stoke, and wished to keep warm.

Did you not look into my eyes, do you not?

I'm sorry I am bugging you so, please understand

I'm feeling cold and lost. Let me know what

You decide, If you let me go for her

Believe me I'll be a chump, I'll understand.

Today and each day is a sweet memory,

With whom do you want to build them

With her or me? If it's her you choose I'll let you go,

I can't have you two-timing us so.

I know it hurts. Frankly, I'm torn and worn,

I promise you I won't feel like a loser

And I'll wish for you more, my love and blessings

Always you have. For once would you be a man?

In noontide hours

In noontide hours oh love

Secure and strong

I need thee not;

Mad dreams are mine

To bind, dreams built

On sweet illusions

That one has when

Touched by thee.

The sun is high,

My spirits low,

My thoughts are raised,

My mind so slow

As I picture in my

Mind, thy smiling lips,

Thy loving eyes.

The raised sabre

Looks for no blood,

My emotions are raw

Even as I'm hurt.

What is a calling

I do not know,

In life's way

That which is lasting 

Is sold and sought.

In noontide hours oh love

Secure and strong,

Find me, hold me,

Let thy benevolent grace

Shoulder me. I walk

Amidst giants oh love,

Secure and strong.

That which is lasting

Will find thee.

Love is true

If I pick up the cudgels 

And question you,

Would you be hurt?

I think you do.

I see a warm Paradise

After a real hurricane

Has passed in good time.

Our bond is unshakeable,

Unbreakable: it has

Withstood eternity.

A selfless desire

Has arisen in you

To protect me no

Matter what I do.

I see our true love

Quieten our fears.

I'm so happy to be yours,

Smiles and tears.

The hurricane

Is really a pot of

Illusions and delusions

That will ease,

Wiping off the pain

Till the gentle breeze.

The sins we have committed

Have left a mark on

Our destiny but won't mar

Our reality as we drown

In love divine, virtuous.

The cards

The cards have spoken

And there is rain, a writhing

Sword and immense pain.

I won't inflict it and neither

Will you but our sins will

Catch up that is true.

Will you be a steady

Rock through the storm

When things are not so

Cozy and warm?

Will the tides of chance

Favour us, you ask:

Of course my love,

Now that's a start!

I wished upon a star today

To keep your warmth intact 

And our sins at bay.

The Truth is strong,

Justice is near.

May you only be showered

By love and blessings

By those not so and dear.