I'm feeling the strange ringing sensation in my ears again. Psha just left after a meeting and I don't know what is causing me to feel so anxious. Actually, there could be many reasons but I can't fathom any off the top of my head.
I woke up in the morning at 7.48 and went right back to sleep till 9.18. I've been really enjoying my sleep. I saw Ma off and went right back to sleep.
I woke up with a sad feeling in my heart. I was unable to recollect my dream in the morning.
I had to kind of force myself to chant at 10 for Bondona's relay. I chanted for some half an hour.
Then Ma came home. There was fish curry rice for lunch prepared by DuMa. I believe Modelley was rude to Pa over the phone. She hasn't been coming for the past two days.
After lunch Ma and I chanted for another half an hour where she corrected my diction and my pronunciation. It was a time well-spent.
Then I generally waited for Psha to come.
She was chirpy as always but through the daimoku she burst into tears.
She has been having Mil problems. She often talks about grappling with envy and jealousy.
We studied from the artist's division handbook. She told me that it's so obvious that I have a high Iq and a high Eq-- that I'm so blessed. That was very sweet of her.
I don't know if I was able to adequately give her support as tears rolled down her cheeks. I tried. I told her that our thoughts come and go and so do our feelings accordingly and it's what we allow to breed in our hearts that remains.
I also thought about Arun today. I don't know what to say about that.
I have my prayers and then I have life to deal with.
I think I'll start job hunting again from tomorrow.
I am feeling:
A heaviness in my throat.
Loving. It's been a while since my heart has expanded with love.
Reasonably happy with a tinge of sadness.
Missing Arun.
The strange dizzy giddy ear ringing feeling.
I am grateful for God's infinite love, Grace and blessings on my life.
Love,
Me.
9 09 pm
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