Directed by Gooloo
Cinematography: Agnibo who is Sumo
Rumour is the greatest villain to be slain in the beginning of this story by Hercules with Nirbhaya's direction. Gooloo (a girl) and Goolaa (a boy) guide Hercules. Rumour's dead body is brought to the house by Shooshoo (a girl) and sosha (a boy). Looloo (a girl) shoots Rumour dead in the first scene.
The play is about kali (a man), Kala (a woman), Friend (any gender) and Amiplease (any gender) pacifying Nirbhaya about Rumour's death. Kali is Nirbhaya's secret admirer.
Act 1
Scene 1
(In Paradise, in the garden)
Rumour: I have lost every fight against Hercules (trembling with fear).
Nirbhaya: at this moment all Rumours have lost against Hercules. Because (shaking her head) I am Rumi and all of you are just just simply Rumours!!! Fie on you Rumours! FIE ON YOU! HERCULES shoot dead all the Rumours right away!
Hercules: Your wish is my command Madame.
Gooloo: Mademoiselle, please. There will be a wedding with Kali soon.
Goolaa: Shoot dead all the Rumours Hercules!
Hercules: By when?
Nirbhaya: As the clock strikes after one Rumour has left the house of paintings. Shoot! SHOOT HERCULES, SHOOT!!!! SHOOT ALL THE RUMOURS DEAD.
Hercules: I'm on it Madame.
Goolaa and Gooloo (together): let's just call her Mademoiselle please.
Hercules: My Madame Nirbhaya... your wish is my command.
(Twenty army vehicles with people from the Amiplease surround all the Rumours in the Paradisic Garden and Hercules in full gear fires at all the Rumours and twenty minutes later all the Rumours lie in a pool of blood in the Paradisic garden).
All the various Rumours: Hercules has shot us dead. Ahh! Ooh! Ouch! The mosquitoes swarm and bite. We are full of maggots, so full of filth.
Hercules: Gooloo tread with stealth.
Goolaa: Hercules finish this off with your gun!
Hercules: Nirbhaya, mission accomplished!
Nirbhaya: Well done to Amiplease and all my friends.
Hercules: where is Amiplease?
Gooloo: Amiplease has spread itself everywhere!!!
Hercules: (under his breath) mission accomplished.
Gooloo: finish it off Hercules!!! Shoot dead now all the Rumours!!!! All the Rumours lie in a pool of blood.... Mission accomplished!!!!
Scene 2
(In the Air Force Headquarters where Amiplease transports all the Rumours to a high- security prison cell in Siberia.)
Amiplease: All the Rumours dead bodies are here.
Shooshoo: Suffocate the Rumours!
Sosha: the Rumours will never come here ever!!!
Looloo: suffocate the Rumours!
Hercules: take them to Siberia jhola, Shola, Gola and bola and Rola... Take them to Siberia. Don't let them be free Amiplease. KALI IM DEPENDING ON YOU.
Kali (holding Hercules's hand): You can always depend on me. What do you want Hercules!!!!
Hercules: I don't want to see a single Rumour unless brought dead.
Kali: the soft toy bodies are with Amiplease.
Hercules (shouting): Amiplease!!!!!!! Take all the Rumours to Siberia right away!!!!
Amiplease: Your wish is my command.
Kali: Hercules is Nirbhaya fine?
Hercules: She is writing this script as we speak.
Looloo: Mission accomplished!!!! All the Rumours are in Siberia never to be seen again.
Shooshoo and sosha (together): Rumours!!! Rumours!! (Weeping softly) never to be seen again. NO RUMOURS ANYMORE!!! FIE ON RUMOUR!!! RUMOUR WAS THE WORST! RUMOUR GONE GONE GONE!
Hercules: MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!!! (Beats his chest in glee) Mission accomplished!!!!
Scene 3
(In the house of paintings in 604 Paradise but wing)
Kali (to Nirbhaya): Honey Rumour's soft toy body has arrived here! Will you marry me?
Nirbhaya: of course I will marry you any day over any other guy. Gooloo are you fine?
Gooloo: Friend please enter. Nirbhaya is always alright so am I!
All right all right,
Better than scotchbrite!
All right, all right!
Friend: I'm so sorry for your loss. (Whispering into Gooloo's ear) I am just acting.
Gooloo: stop acting all of you.
Kali: stop acting yes please! Nirbhaya, are you fine!
Nirbhaya: please come in Amiplease.
Amiplease: I've brought Kala with me.
Nirbhaya: please come in... we are fine.
Kala: I love you... I love you Kali... I love you Nirbhaya!!!!... oye oye... oye hoye Nirbhaya. This here in 604 Paradise b wing is just Rumour's soft toy body. We bid adieu to Rumour. Nirbhaya, accept your position as the Queen of the Universe.
Nirbhaya: Accepted at inception!!!
Kali: let's start the last rites. When is Hercules coming?
Nirbhaya: in the next scene.
Kali: Then will you hold my hand in front of Rumours soft toy body. Gooloo please be kind to me.
Gooloo: I am the kindest.
Nirbhaya: Yes you are.
Friend: you are Santa!
Act 2
Scene 1
(In Paradise celebrating Rumour's death)
Goolaa: Mademoiselle, do you want some tea?
Nirbhaya: Goolaa, Rumour is gone. Are you fine?
Goolaa: Yes, I am fine Nirbhaya.
(Enter Hercules and Kali)
Hercules: Goolaa! Serve sweets to everybody. Give sweets to all.
Kali: Why?
Hercules: Because Rumour is gone.
Nirbhaya: (muttering to herself): So we are celebrating now.
Hercules: Don't ask for wine. But take my entire love. My entire heart. (All my loving by led zeppelin starts playing in the background.)
Kali: I really love your sister Hercules.
Hercules: So marry her anytime anyday because we are in a celebratory mood. But she will stay in this house. You better live here from now on if you want her.
Gooloo: Yes Mademoiselle, this is your house.
Hercules: Madame your wish is my command.
(Enter friend and Amiplease)
Friend: you guys can stay awake till any time from now on!
Amiplease: are you sure, friend?
Friend: all right, no scotchbrite.
Gooloo: this is Nirbhaya's house. Have you two Amiplease and Friend made sure of it?
Nirbhaya: whoopie! Now you've got to marry me.
Gooloo: Just marry her please, soon. But remember you have to stay in 604 b Paradise with her.
Hercules (softly): also 603. Nirbhaya, here is your laptop. Safe and secure. It could have travelled the world. But me, your Hercules stopped it.
Hercules: thanks! I love you the most Hercules. You are the most handsome man in the whole wide world!
Scene 2
(In Bottles)
Sosha: where are Kali and Nirbhaya?
Kala: they should be here anytime soon!!!!
(Enter Kali and Nirbhaya)
Hercules: welcome, welcome sir!
Kali: I love all of you. Now say that darling?
Nirbhaya: (blowing kisses): Yes. We love all of you.
Gooloo: eat your fill.
Friend: play the records!
Amiplease: play it loud!!!!
Kali: Baby, (whimpering) you are my baby.
Nirbhaya: I'm also Gooloo's baby. Goolaa!!! Look, Goolaa is here.
Shooshoo: let's just all eat and drink.
Hercules: I'll never scold you again Nirbhaya. How is your laptop?
Looloo: let's just eat and drink.
Nirbhaya: functioning well.
Amiplease: Rumour is gone. Rumour is dead.
(All in one voice): Let Rumour rest in peace.
Hercules: is anybody sad?
Kali: not one this day. Let's get married soon Nirbhaya.
Nirbhaya: I promise you whenever you want.
Scene 3
(In Qdees)
Nirbhaya: Ruma is gone and the children are in Paradise. We have to take care of all the children.
Kali: I'll never trouble you ever again.
Goolaa: eat and drink well.
Hercules: I love both of you.
Kali: baby will you marry me? (The whole bar claps. There are lights and sounds everywhere. Firecrackers burst about!
Nirbhaya: of course anytime anyday over any other guy.
Kali: Rumour is dead. Are you feeling bad?
Nirbhaya: believe it or not, not one bit.
Goolaa: Rumour is dead.
Hercules: I finished Rumour off.
Nirbhaya: I love Hercules the most.
Kali: Do you love me?
Nirbhaya: will you live with me?
Kali: of course I will.
Hercules: I love you Nirbhaya.
All in one voice: And then they were happy...
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