Journal 1.55 pm on 27.9.2026 my exam

Dear Journal,

I saw a dream in the morning that I'm with Buro in Shangrila A and Pa has died. But he has left behind recorded messages for Buro to hear.

Buro tells me in the dream that Pa is in the Maldives and has been calling him up. I see Pa's ghost. And also someone I love has also died in the dream-- not Arun but RPremC. I see his ghost too in the dream.

I woke up late and got ready for my exam.

The exam was so simple compared to last time. I hope I score 100 per cent marks. I could....

Now Ill chant and study for tomorrow.

I am feeling:

Happy

Loving

Pretty

I am grateful for God's infinite love, Grace, blessings and mercy on my life. 

Love,

Me.

2 01 pm

Journal 6.36 pm on 26.9.2026 it's a full moon today

Dear Journal,

I woke up around 1.30, ate lunch and slept off till after 6.

I dont remember my dreams. I have my Buddhism exam tomorrow. I remember seeing in my dream that I have a warm relationship with Arun.

Ma and Pa are not at home.

I am feeling:

Happy

Groggy

I am grateful for God's infinite love, Grace, blessings and mercy on my life. 

Love,

Me.

6.40 pm

Paradise

Some people enter our lives

For a reason, a season, a time

And from them if you'd like it

You can never truly hide

And some day when it's blooming 

I hope our paths

Will again smoothly collide

And till then may the heavens

Rain on you absolutely

The joys of Paradise.

Journal 7.14 pm on 25.9.2026 Arun....

Dear Journal,

I woke up in the morning from a dream with Subbu and her dad in it. We were competing with each other in the game of life. And Subbu's dad was really helping her by making things for her. But in the end I come out as a winner in the game of life.

What a dream! It was more elaborate than that but I don't remember the dream. Arun, Ma, Pa, Buro were all in the dream.

I had to teach Madhav in the morning. Then I went for the study meet for our exam. Then I spoke to Nimisha for half an hour after that.

I came back home and dialled Arun's number. Arun finally called me up. We spoke for a really long time. We could have talked for more time but i was feeling all grimy in this September end heat.

I love Arun. I truly madly deeply love him. I told him about my yearnings and he said I should masturbate. I really am crazy about this man. He is shoo cute.

I dont want to imagine pornographic scenarios in my life. So Im not going to do that. 

Then I ate lunch,  had a bath.

It's Ganesh Visarjan today.

I ordered Chupa Chups and mishti doi and chocolate for after lunch.

Arun said that he was having lunch from Petuk. My baby, my cutie, my shonapie.

Right now Im taking a walk in the building. There are so many mosquitoes here!

I was just talking to Soha and Hasan's mom about their studies.

I am feeling:

Itchy

Sweaty

Happy

Pretty

I am grateful for God's infinite love, Grace, blessings and mercy on my life. 

Love,

Me.

7.31 pm.

Journal 8 57 pm 24.9.2026 bhagwaan ke ghar mein

Dear Journal,

They say Bhagwaan Ke Ghar Mein Der Hai Andher nahin.

Today I woke up around 10. I saw an elaborate dream with Arun in it but I dont remember the dream. Hmmmphf....

I wish I could remember the dream. It's been over a week but Arun hasnt called me up.

I taught Madhav. I went to Metamorph. And I spent some time with Tanya and Ruchita.

It's exactly 9 pm.

It's been over a week but Arun hasnt called me up.

Im so lonely, so alone, so desolate.

I am feeling:

Heavy-hearted

Pretty

Satty told me to dye my hair today.

I am grateful for God's infinite love, Grace, blessings and mercy on my life. 

Love,

Me.

9.03 pm

Letter to Arun 10.31 pm on 23.9.2026 Hey there

Hey there Arun!

How are you? Unless gay all my guy friends have hit on me at some point. I went to meet one such friend today-- his name is Simit Bhagat.

We spent 2 hours with each other, catching up, discussing life. He runs a film production agency now and I hope I can work with him.

It was so hot outside today. I was telling Simit about how difficult Ive been finding it to get over you.

I had a full blown anxiety attack as I alighted from the Metro. It was accompanied with feeling sexual. But I dont think I want to channel this any other way.

Ive kind of stopped going out. I told Simit about how I dont want to date any guy and how lonely I am. Thats the thing with old friends right, they know you from a better time.

Simit needs someone to manage his company and he has been interviewing people. He said he'll come home this week to read my play. It's awesome to spend time with friends.

I kind of think I overshared with him, but he said it's completely alright. He also spoke about his girlfriend etc. Etc.

He runs a company that helps other companies manage their csr activity. He also makes movies and he hopes I can collaborate with him.

I was telling him about how Ive become so averse to dating and men that Im telling everybody that Im asexual. He laughed about it.

Ive literally been telling people I dont want to have sex... that Im asexual.

I look so jhalli these days, it's unbelievable!

Tomorrow I have to go to Kandivli.

Hope life is treating you well! Hope you are fine Shona! I wish I could read letters from you to know what is on your mind.

Ill brush my teeth and go to sleep now.

Hope your days are going well.

Bye!

Journal 8 21 pm on 13.9.2026 a little bit of this and that

Dear Journal, 

I left around 4 to meet SimBha. I spent about 2 hours with him. We discussed all sorts of things.

He said he will come home this coming week. It's really nice to meet old friends. I felt I could really open up to him. I told him about how difficult Im finding it to move on.

Then I hopped into a Metro to come home.

And as I was alighting, I felt that strange ears ringing sensation and an uprising of sexuality.

It's all good to say you should masturbate. But I cant. I cant seem to be able to do that.

I came home to a napping Pa and an absconding Ma.

Will Arun call me up this week?

Ive spent too much money this month.

I hope SimBha hires me.

I am feeling:

Cooler than an hour ago.

I am grateful for God's infinite love, Grace, blessings and mercy on my life. 

Love,

Me.

8.27 pm