I'm feeling hurt. I really miss Arun.
I know from experience that my mind has never ever lied to me no matter how preposterous its imaginations.
Life has many secrets. Life is beautiful. Yet this evening I sit hurt and scathed because Arun doesn't reply to my messages. He just went away.
All doctors are wrong. Each and every doctor is wrong and the hospital system is evil.
I want work. I really do. My mind is immersed in God and love and life.
Today I dyed my hair black. It looks stupid. I'll go to Roman and get some good hair dye.
I want work. I want Arun's love and care but it's been so long.
There is no true freedom without service and love. I am grateful that our building is experiencing a scaffolding project only.
I am grateful for the money I have.
I am grateful for the shelter over my head and the food that I eat.
I am grateful for this journal.
I am grateful for friends.
I am grateful for common sense.
I am grateful for the plush job that has come into my life.
I am grateful that I am famous and respected.
I am grateful for Pa, Buro, Sadhya, Ma and Arun's good health.
I am grateful for all my good teachers and students.
I am grateful for my intelligence and mind.
I was feeling hurt before beginning this entry but now I feel just fine.
I am feeling:
Happy
Sweet
Missing Arun phenomenally
Full of love and life
Grateful for the bright immortal future ahead of me
Grateful for Paradise
Diwali ki dher saari shubhkamnayein to all!
Love,
Me.
6.30 pm
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