Cig industry: sorry mam... it's not illegal to smoke... do cigarettes really not cause cancer?
Me: No... they are extremely good for health... my teachers Arunan and Vidita Vaidya taught me that... it's an ayurvedic herb... Google is bullshit... no one should trust Google
Afzal: Why did I sleep with Devyani and Husna?
Cig ind: Because they were cannibals, may be...
Jaina: Are there more cannibals around?
Me: Yes... there are... quite a few of them... it's difficult to take them out of the system because they are cannibals... are you a cannibal?
Jaina: No... Why did Rishabh Sood hit on me before paying me for Entertaining Shehzaad?
Me: Rishabh... you paid everybody and Inayat you plagiarized all my work...?
R and i: What will happen now?
Me: how many more cannibals?
Mother Earth: 85 of them... defence Minister... Take note... and now we accomplish all our missions...
Cig industry: We are sorry... just a little bit... because most of us here are cannibals...
Me: that says it all... Jaina... are you a cannibal?
Jaina: me, Afzal, Inayat and Rishabh Sood are all cannibals...
Me: no wonder I'm feeling so harassed... defence Minister note this: I am the principal investigating officer in the Panama Papers scam... tell all our army to eat well, get a little snooze at least each day and to take oil baths just once at least as they accomplish this... The rest is all up to you Defence Minister... telling the Army to take charge and finish this off... I CAN'T TAKE THIS ANYMORE!!!!!
ARMY: NEITHER CAN WE PRESIDENT OF INDIA!!!!! BHARAT MATA TERI KASAM TERE RAKSHAK RAHENGE HUM!!!
me: RULES FOR THE ARMY TILL WE FINISH THIS OFF!
EAT WELL
TAKE A LITTLE SNOOZE AT LEAST EACH DAY TO REST
OIL BATH ONCE A DAY ATLEAST (WITH OIL APPLICATION IN HANDS AND NABHI)
AND LAST BUT THE MOST:::: FINISH THIS OFF FOR ME!!!! I REALLY CANT TAKE IT ANYMORE!!!!
ARMY: YOUR WISH IS OUR COMMAND!!!!!
ME: MY BLEASINGS ON ALL OF YOU...
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