I am not getting a drop of sleep thinking about the cruelty I face at the hands of so many.
The Ag cruelty, Arun's cruelty towards me, Bu's cruelty, Pa's cruelty over Vespa... so many things really.
A girl is often judged by her beauty. But there is so much more to being a woman like the strong maternal instinct I so identify with and understanding and altruism. But wherever I go I find that women and men are increasingly becoming selfish and cruel.
It's largely to do with the effects of the media and the unrealistic exagerrated dreams it sells.
It's alright. Arun has left. And life goes on....
Neitzche said: "When you gaze long into an abyss the abyss gazes back into you."
So you might as well not gaze into the abyss. And I might as well not harp on cruelty.
There is so much more to life than people's brazen selfishness. Like their love, their laughter, their smiles, their warmth.
I might as well focus on that.
The brain has a negativity bias. It tends to focus on the negatives. But I might as well remember Arun for his jokes, his warmth, his hugs, his smell, his smiles and his raucous laughter.
I might as well cherish Pa for the many ways he includes me in his life.
I might as well cherish Bu for his care and his concern instead of focusing on his snubs.
I don't know what I would have done without Ma. The only way to get love is to give it. There is simply no other way.
So I might as well love against all odds and not gaze at the abyss.
And then when this heavy mosquito-laden night has eased the dawn of lightness will shine on me and I will once again tread into the unknown meeting new people and living it up.
Love,
Me.
10.53 pm
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