How will I ever forget Arun? Sometimes I feel the grip loosening and sometimes I feel such a surge of love for him. I so miss him. Today DiPan was asking about him. I told her that the last thing I want to do is break his family. That's the last thing on my mind.
I woke up around 10 today. Then in a bit after having deemporotha made by Pa I went in for the lecture with Madhav. Madh said he couldnt hear me but I still went ahead with the class, chatting with him to aid him to write about himself.
He says that he is a teetotaller. I wasnt one at his age. It's exactly 4.44.
Everything begins with daimoku.
DuMa didnt come today so I ordered lunch for me and Pa from Swadesh-- methi malai mattar, veg kolhapuri and Naan. I also ordered medu vada.
I quickly ate and left to meet DiPan. We studied a Gosho-- happiness in this World.
"Suffer what there is to suffer. Enjoy what is there to enjoy."
The brain has a sorting system called the Reticular Activating System that decides what our predominant state of mind. Anyhow like I said, everything begins with a determination-- a decision to be a sensitive actress, a decision to be the best teacher, a decision to be an articulate writer, exemplary painter, brilliant journalist, the best daughter, sister and friend.
It all starts in the mind. The suffering will pass.
I also spoke to Mrs Kampani.
I saw a dream with Swapku in it. In my dream I was transported back to the time of studying Neurobiology. I tell Swapku in the dream that the seniors forced me to study under Mcarunan. I, in fact, wanted to study under Medha Rajdyaksha.
The dream reminded me that sometimes you have to do things that you dont want to-- like study under a teacher you dont want to.
So that's that. I think Ill spend a little time on social media and then prepare for tomorrow's lecture.
I am feeling:
Happy
Pretty
Focused
I am grateful for God's infinite love, Grace, blessings and mercy on my life.
Love,
Me.
4.57 pm
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