The queen of the Universe needs clothes but the clothes and shoes that fit her are too expensive. So shoolin (her husband), buobacha, Andromeda, brodar, zenia and xenith, dhroomrockstar sell clothes for 10 roubs for 1 tonne. The price of clothes comes down and the forex crashes as the forests are saved and they become the richest people in the world. Koomoolooshitty and sadykoshitty play dead and at the end the queen is told by Buobacha that they have died and that she can buy 1 tonne of clothes for 10 roubs as all univartitties and maladies have shut down. The toy industry shuts down in the play. At the end of this play all the dhoortoors have died.
Act 1
Scene 1
In the presidential palace
Queen doremee: none of the clothes and shoes I can afford fit me.
Buobacha: doremee I think koomoolooshitty and sadykoshitty are going to die.
Doremee: I don't think they will really. They have walked out of our lives.
(The presidential palace is clean. Enter King shoolin with noodles and a pile of clothes)
(Shoolin dances)
Shoolin: I shoolin am the best. I am the king, the ring, the ping, the ting, the sing of the Universe. All the dhoortoors have disappeared buobacha. Here give these noodles to doremee and these clothes at 20 roubs for a tonne are for you. They fit you.
Doremee (sobbing): they are too expensive.
Shoolin (looks concerned): are they.
(Enter Brodar the protagonist with a sabre)
Brodar: of course they are shoolin. I brodar think the queen doremee is always right. You've overpriced the clothes and there are so many maladies and univartitties. You shoolin have to shut all the Maladies and Univartitties down. Leave the clothes to me.
(Picks up the clothes and walks out)
Queen doremee: my sweetest heart king sing ping ting shoolin don't leave my side.
(It begins to snow heavily and gales of wind shake the curtains)
Shoolin: what's the problem queen of my soul?
Buobacha: ask me buobacha.
Queen doremee: tell him.
Shoolin: oh the children are playing with the toys that are giving them all the maladies and univartitties. Seize their toys. No ill seize their toys. No maladies or univartitties for the children.
Queen doremee(sobbing): my children are immortal. They have inherited Paradise but they play with univartitties and maladies still (she bursts into tears and sobs heavily)
Buobacha: leave it all to me. I love thee doremee and shoolin.
Act 1
Scene 2
In the playground (the children's sounds can be heard loudly playing. It is snowing heavily)
Andromeda (enters whispering): seize all the children's toys quietly as they play. Hide them brodar.
Brodar: deftly deftly we hide the toys so that the children don't play with univartitties and maladies now.
Buobacha: never Again never Again will the children play with univartitties and maladies.
Hide all their toys. Throw them away.
(3 screens projected light up on stage. Children can be heard in the background shouting and playing.)
Koomoolooshitty (on the screen): hush hush children (the children play louder) hush hush. All the dhoortoors have died. All the maladies and univartitties have also died and I am dying too.
Sadykoshitty (on the screen): children no maladies for you or univartititties. All the dhoortoors have died. I am dying too.
Dhroomrockstar (on the screen): are you sure?
Komoolooshitty and Sadykoshitty (together): Yes we are. Thousand per cent sure. No toys for the children. Take their toys away.
(Their screens shut off)
Dhroomrockstar (enters the stage): we have to protect queen doremee and the children and everybody from maladies and univarititties. (Takes a pile of toys and throws them away) tell king ping ting shoolin that the queen is safe now. Buobacha go and tell him koomoolooshitty and sadyshitty are going to die.
Andromeda: Aye aye. This is Andromeda. Are they running away? Because the children have inherited immortal Paradise.
Brodar: I think so. Love as toys disappear and the children are free and Paradise Is here. Hear hear for the queen. I brodar am the most valiant.
Buobacha: Brodar I love you.
Brodar: all Hail king ping ting sing Ling shoolin. All Hail Doremee! All Hail the natural Sun and the holy moon that grant us security and prosperity! Down with the toys! 1 tonne of clothes for ten roubs now. Buobacha you are not getting married to a dhrootoor. Marry God today.
Act 2
Scene 1
(In king shoolin's chambers. It is snowing heavily. Queen doremee is performing a magic tricks for the world to inherit Paradise. Zenia rushes in)
Zenia: doremee. Queen Doremee!
Doremee: who is this?
Zenia: this is Zenia. Xenith told me there is a huge flu outbreak in the world.
Doremee: tell Dhroomrockstar to release garlic, ginger, honey, lemons, sugar, Salt, sauna and lovely Lovely sweet nectar for the public for free.
Zenith: sure queen doremee! (Exits)
(Enter brodar. Lies on a couch)
Brodar: Do the magic queen doremee. You are a magician.
Doremee: so are you! Do the magic Brodar! Let the children not play with fake toys anymore. Let them win the real jewels and the real money. Free them from maladies and univartitties! Free them brodar.
Brodar: I love thee doremee. Your wish is my command. I love the children. Everywhere I go I see forests cropping up and the animals playing. All Hail king ping ting sing Ling shoolin.
Doremee: My King. My sweet king of my heart. My sweetest king. Now relay all the information to King ping ting sing Ling Shoolin. He will relay it to ms.
Brodar: Sure Queen. Your wish is my command. (Bows and exits. The queen continues to perform magic. Enter King shoolin.)
Shoolin: doremee it's snowing heavily. How are you my lovely queen of my spirit and soul?
(Doremee falls into his arms)
Shoolin: I've got you 1 tonne of clothes and 1 tonne of shoes for 10 roubs each. Now there will be no dhoortoors to see and there are no fake toys to play with. all the children get 1 tonne of well-fitted and well-stitched clothes and shoes of premium quality for 10 roubs each now. All the maladies and univartitties are gone.
Doremee: are you sure king of my being, my soul.
Shoolin: Yes. I've conquered the Universe. I love you my magician. Magical queen of the universe.
Act 2
Scene 2
In the playground children shout and play as it snows heavily. (Only their sounds can be heard)
Xenith: today I think all the toys have been burnt.
(One screen lights up. A funeral can be seen. All the children shout "Sadykoshitty has died!!!!" The chant rings through the snowy gusty wind)
(Another screen lights up with a second funeral. All the children shout "Sadykoshitty and koomoolooshitty have died. Buobacha is married to god! There is no wedding for buobacha except his wedding with God!" The chant rings through the air. This is the chant throughout the play now with different music playing along.)
(Third screen lights up as the first two screen play throughout the scene.)
Dhroomrockstar (on the screen): hello children! The greatest villains koomoolooshitty and sadykoshitty have died today! All Hail the king of the Universe rose ping ting Ling sing Shoolin! Beware children! PARADISE IS HERE. IMMORTALITY IS HERE. AND (whispers) there are no toys to play with anymore as tigers and lions roam freely about and lavender's grow abundantly.
(Enter brodar)
Brodar: xenith switch on the lights. It's time for magical celebrations! Truth, Justice, peace, prosperity, security, happiness, harmony, humanity, honour and Love love love prevail. I'll go tell Buobacha and king shoolin that the greatest villains sadykoshitty and koomoolooshitty are dead to us and going to jail now and buobacha and dhroomrockstar can safely be only married to God now. Thanks for the views Dhroomrockstar.
Dhroomrockstar (on the screen): you're welcome. Love and life. The magical dance of love and life. (His screen switches off as xenith lights all the lamps and starts performing magic)
(Enter Andromeda and buobacha)
Buobacha: I've just informed king shoolin. Do you know koomoolooshitty, sadykoshitty and varikoshitty have died.
Andromeda: are you sure?
(Enter brodar in knights clothes)
Brodar: I've just been knighted. Buobacha you don't have a wife or a mother. And varikoshitty was never your friend. But you have us, you have God, you have immortality in Paradise and you have a sister Queen Doremee! All Hail king ping ting sing Ling Shoolin!
Buobacha: thank you xenith for lighting the lamps. Thank you for your friendship world! We are immortal God's greatest gift.
(Both Brodar and Buobacha start performing magic)
Andromeda: (performing magic) xenith give me a lamp (xenith gives him a lamp)
Brodar: All Hail the good Lord God!
Act 3
Scene 1
In a pub (the children's chants can be heard)
Shoolin: sugarcane juice for the Lady!
(Doremee Picks up the sugarcane juice)
Doremee: I love you.
Shoolin: I love you more. We are immortal in Paradise. All the dhoortoors have disappeared. The toys are gone. Koomoolooshitty, sadykoshitty and varikoshitty are dead. I'll be myself with you now.
(Enter xenith, Andromeda, zenia and buobacha chanting): one tonne of good clothes for ten roubs.
One tonne of good shoes for ten roubs.
The maladies and univartitties have disappeared.
(A sweet melodious voice can be heard and forests spring up all around as the pub changes to a forest.)
Andromeda: all the dhoortoors have died.
Shoolin: have they?
Buobacha: Yes shoolin.
(Enter dhroomrockstar and brodar)
Dhroomrockstar: I've broadcasted it everywhere all across the Universe. There are no toys and no Dhoortoors anymore. The good God. All Hail the good God.
Zenia: we are all God's.
Xenith: we are God's special children.
Brodar: queen, what do you need?
Doremee: I need magic, God and sugarcane juice please. And
Brodar: we are the richest in the world.
Shoolin: look at the forests.
Brodar: such Paradise.
Doremee: sugarcane juice please.
Act 3
Scene 2
The gallows venue cancels the wedding of Buobacha on Joanreeree the 5th of 2024. The guests are all turned away on that day at the playground. (The children's chanting can be heard loudly. In addition to the previous chant they chant "dhroomrockstar and buobacha are never getting married." Loudly. Towards the end of the scene they chant "The Lord God is great!")
Buobacha: Sadykoshitty and Varikoshitty and all the Shitties are dead. No wedding is being planned or organised by them ever.
Shoolin: my love! Are you fine?
Brodar: Throw all the Shitties out!
Andromeda: Down with the Shitties!
Doremee: I told you Shoolin! The shitties are just thieves. Out with them! No wedding for Buobacha and Dhroomrockstar.
Shoolin: Will you marry me Doremee?
Doremee: of course king ping ting Ling sing Shoolin. I love you. (Kisses him) I've stopped the wedding.
Doremee: no wedding for Buobacha and Dhroomrockstar. I told you.
Andromeda: you did.
Brodar: you did. The Queen's will reigns. The children don't want Buobacha's wedding.
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