Today I literally faffed around all day. My periods are not easy for me at all.
In the evening Arun messaged and asked me to join him at Bottles. I went promptly.
I told him how much I love him and I also told him that we should probably make love. Because I can't be with anybody else, frankly.
There is this girl whose name I don't know, some strange girl. Arun told this girl that we've never had sex and that we are friends now and asked her if we should have sex.
That upset me a lot. Why does he go around talking crap? I don't think I'll be able to forget this disrespect and slight so easily. And of course I'm never going to ask him to make love to me ever again.
He was in a terrible mood today. His brother apparently got shot in the lungs yesterday and he was very very upset. I sat there helplessly not knowing how to quell his anguish.
I kissed him, I wiped his tears.
And he repeatedly kept saying that we are not together. He's said it so many times that he doesn't love me that I believe it.
I wish he had not kissed me last night.
Well, all is well and I really hope tomorrow is a much better day. I cried a bit sitting there with him. I clicked a few photographs.
And he wants to just be friends with me. I should respect that. But then we shouldn't hold hands and kiss, right? I need to reason with myself and come to an understanding of how I should handle him.
He said he'll be flying to Dubai soon to meet his brother.
Love,
Me.
I'm never leaving him, I'm never letting him go.
He has his flaws but I love him nevertheless.
I bled a lot today. My periods have become really tough.
Love,
Me.
11.43 pm
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