I tread on this path with trepidation.
What if he finds someone else? I'd be very broken hearted.
Yesterday he spoke about taking his wife out for a drink and about how he's been getting into fights at her behest.
That really broke my heart. What should I do?
I've left it all to God. I'm sure the future is golden.
He did say he would never hurt me, but he already is quite a bit.
He also didn't call yesterday.
Why have I found myself in this situation?
Of course I love him immensely and I value our bond but must I carry on with this pain in my heart? He has a wife and that is very very painful. He has a family who he is responsible towards. That is very very painful.
The two paths I could take are obvious. I could leave him or I could just go on like this and I have veered towards the latter.
I do hope that he chooses me and that as he says he genuinely doesn't want to lose me.
This relationship makes me very sad and it's only because I truly deeply love him. If at all it was just something I was doing to while away my time I would lose him.
But I value him. I love his beautiful noble heart a lot and his vibrant sweet head I seek to possess.
I feel sad.
And happy at the same time.
Love,
Me
8.25 am
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