Journal 1.54 pm on 11.10.2026 it's mahalaya

Dear Journal,

Today is Mahalaya. Munima is coming over.

Last night Veeru messaged me and I ordered spring rolls for myself. I did not study. I fell asleep.

I woke up around 11 from a vivid dream.

I see Veeru in my dream and I introduce him to Arun. And I tell Arun how Veeru always says he wants his daughter to grow up like me. I also see in my dream that Veeru's wife Dhanashree is cheating on him.

Then I introduce Arun to Sahil Sethi. A while later Arun tells me that SaSet was bitching about me and how he had given orders that I should not be served any booze.

I feel angry and hurt at this.

Then Arun engages SaSet in a conversation and I keep kicking A in the dream under the table to ignore SaSet.

I also see in my dream that Sonam Vij is smitten by SaSet.

Then I see that a time machine built a long time ago is discovered in a particular house. I dont really see the time machine. But I realise that the spacetime continuum has been broken and I see many characters from the past and future flooding my environment.

In the dream Arun and I were together.

I see a young boy who looks like Pa... when Pa was a small boy. I love my father who has been gorging on Mishti Doi and cheeselings in waking life.

Then I dosed off till 11 and rushed for the Gosho study. I missed the chanting but not the lecture.

Ronjini led the study. "Suffer what there is to suffer. Enjoy what there is to enjoy. And regard both suffering and joy as facts of life."

Ronjini said that this is not a passive statement. It's a statement of action. When suffering we overcome our fundamental darkness and when enjoying we are grateful-- that's active, not passive.

That was my greatest takeback from the study.

And that the Law is like the endless ocean. We can take as much as we want from the Law. We can fill a cup or a swimming pool. So we should really pray and chant.

Then as we were leaving. Ronjini, Psha and DiPan discussed their shooting schedules and how their films are getting shelved. And I felt bad that Im not really making headway on the acting front.

As I passed the Aram Nagar temple a gentleman stopped me. He told me that he has often seen me there and invited me for the temple pujas.

I came home and mom's gosho meeting still continued.

Munima called, saying she is coming home.

I just had a nice warm bath and will eat lunch. 

I am feeling:

Slightly stuck

Embarrassed about my mental health

Happy

Loving

I am grateful for God's infinite love, Grace, blessings and mercy on my life. 

Love,

Me.

2.12 pm