I just got off a call with Shou. As usual he spoke about his girlfriend and was asking me for advice. In the end he told me that he really values my friendship and regards me highly as a human being. That means a lot, coming from a true friend. He is the person who encouraged me to take Tarot professionally. It will never be my mainstay, but it's fun.
About two months ago I'd met Sonal, around Diwali. She was telling me about how she spent Diwali taking care of her father-in-law who suffered a stroke. She said that her father-i-l has always showered his love on her and supported her. And she told me about how he had become like a child during Diwali.
Then she said something I will never forget. She said that sometimes in a relationship one must give 90 per cent while the other person finds it difficult to give even ten per cent. She said no relationship is an equal 50-50. And when it's time to give 90 per cent we must not complain, we must not begrudge the other person. This is a lesson that will always stay with me.
I love Sonal. I really really value her. She is so intelligent. And I love that she is a children's book illustrator. I love everything about her. Plus she is an IITian. She is so smart.
Our common friends say that she also values my friendship. I think I'll call her soon and meet her.
Today Chotto took me, Sadhya and Chun to Palladium and bought us lots of books. I thought of buying some nice books for Arun. I even eyed a few on movies that he'd like. But in the end I didn't pick up any because I don't know how he would receive it. I hope some day I can again buy him a nice shirt.
My heart is kind of heavy. The family continues to create obstacles and Arun is not around. I really really love my Arun so deeply.
I hope he is fine and happy.
Tomorrow I will call the people Jaypee told me to connect with.
I didn't get a chance to do yoga in the morning but I did go to the garden before sunset to do yoga. Oh, how the mosquitoes swarmed about and fed on me and bled me! Tomorrow I must carry a mosquito repellent.
Doing yoga in the gazebo is an ethereal affair. With the birds chirping and the sounds of nature, I could stay immersed there. Were it not for the army of mosquitoes assaulting me that would be my new favourite spot.
Shou said that he wants to consult me about something and will call again.
Metta meditation is amazing. It's all about blessing everyone, right from the people it is easy to love to the people who create difficulties.
We live in the Saha world, the world of endurance, as Shakyamuni Buddha calls it and we each must endure.
When people tell me about their life stories and problems, my problems seem miniscule. So gratitude and forgiveness must always be employed.
Where there is love, sacrifice and acceptance must follow. Sacrifice and acceptance are the nature of love and relationships.
I really really love Arun. It was so easy to fall in love with him. Loving him comes so naturally to me, it's effortless. I must have really troubled him! I hope he is happy.
I would have been willing to endure any sacrifice for him. For no other man have I felt this way. And not talking to him is in itself a great sacrifice.
I think he misunderstood me when I told him that I need him. I need his presence in my life. I need just his entity to be there. And that is how it is. Everything else today is a sacrifice.
In other news, life is good. I will chant now, eat my dinner and read the papers. I must really start consuming the news again. I hope Shou calls.
I am feeling heartache.
I am feeling immensely grateful for life's many blessings.
I am feeling compassionate and loving.
I am feeling hopeful.
I am feeling happy.
I am feeling a little careless.
I am feeling so kind and forgiving and accepting.
Today instead of arguing with Ma about some silly thing she was haranguing me about, I let it go. And that left me feeling liberated.
I am grateful for the money I have.
I am grateful for the food I eat.
I am grateful for the home I dwell in.
I am grateful for God's infinite love, Grace and blessings on my life.
I am grateful for all the people who grace my life.
I am grateful for Arun and my family.
I am grateful for insights.
I am grateful that I had such a beautiful day.
I win in each moment, I win each day!
Love,
Me.
8.49 pm
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