My meeting went really well and I'm having a late start to the morning. I don't get sleep till about 2.30, 3 these days and then I wake up after 9. I just wish I could fall asleep more easily.
Arun must be in a lot of pain. I still love him deeply.
I've just about started meeting people again. I've been very loyal to A. There is this sweet guy Ba Al who keeps asking me out. I'll be meeting him tomorrow for coffee. I don't think he's my type but it would be nice to make a friend.
If there was another chance with Arun I'd choose him any day over any other guy. He's always on my mind and I love his sweet smile and adore his musty cheeks.
I feel the way Ro must have felt when I broke up with him. I really hurt his heart and Bha's heart. They both cried a lot when I broke up with them. Karma has caught up with me. What goes around comes around.
Logic and practicality are paramount.
Astro Sage has offered me a job with a higher rate than what Astro Talk was paying me. Till something better turns up this is good. I think if I make enough money I'll pay Arun in installments. I hope he appreciates it. Financially it's been a little tough but the stalemate is not here to stay.
Now I'll just meditate and chant and eat lunch and then get some writing done.
In all matters of the brain choose your heart.
My heart says I'll have a strong enduring friendship with Arun. If at all ever I do find someone I hope Arun is not hurt. I would never want to hurt him. His sweet heart is very important to me.
I'm in tears right now.
Ma is doing well. She's got another extension at jns. Pa is watching the diplomat in the other room. Buro came fourth worldwide in an international Athletics competition. Arun has hurt himself but I know he'll be fine.
I am feeling:
Happy and sad at the same time.
I woke up with a hurt heart but I'm feeling better now since I drowned all my pain in tears.
Eager to get at least one more chapter of my book done.
Loving
To employ restraint when it comes to matters of passion is the key to success. Restraint is the key. Empty words fall flat. I miss Arun's cute face.
Love,
Me.
12.54 pm
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