All morning my mind has been filled with thoughts about Arun. I hope to have a sweet enduring friendship with him better than what I have with Qud.
Once you love someone as deeply as I've loved him you will never stop loving that person. And true love is hard to come by. I really wish in some way we were together or that we were talking more to each other.
As I learnt in yoga one must not focus on the results when taking action. It's important to detach from the results. Nishkam karma as in the Gita.
Another thing is that one must not be pretentious. In all relationships it's important to be authentic and honest. Truth has a great impact. Truth can touch hearts.
I am feeling:
Teary
Loving
Focused on life and reality
Hoping Arun is not in too much pain and is doing well. I want my Astro Sage job to start soon. I think I'll pause looking for a gig and call up Pepper.
For a long time after we broke up I blamed myself a lot for the way I'd conducted myself with Arun. I still feel apologetic. But the break up was not all my fault.
I'm a little worried about him, frankly. And I'll always care deeply.
Love,
Me.
2.31 pm
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