I saw a dream in the morning; I saw Nagesh in my dream. He was looking somewhat young and Arun was there in my dream and they were discussing me. Off late Ive seen a few dreams where Arun is talking to my friends. I wonder what that means.
I was late to wake up in the morning. Madhav cancelled his class today and he still hasnt told me when he wants his lecture.
I felt the pressure and weight of yesterday in the morning. Then I grabbed a quick lunch and set off to Metamorph. I spent about half an hour there discussing Monday's lesson plan with Tanya.
They are all a jolly bunch.
If anything this job has taught me, it is the importance of discipline and the importance of making children love discipline.
That is something my mother didnt expect out of us. During our childhood Buro and I were allowed to play as much as we liked with no consequences.
Ma was the last person to check whether Id done my homework. Those days Ma had a tough time with Buro because he was so sharaarthi. Very very naughty. Nowadays she is worried about me.
Then I came home and did my morning and evening Gongyo. I did a little yoga too. Then I set off to meet SeeDhi. SeeDhi has not been in a very good mood ever since I remember.
Then I came home and went down to meet Twi. I spent some time with her.
And now Im home like a good girl, waiting for cutlets to turn golden so that I can eat my dinner.
Ma has gone to Ramkrishna Mission. Pa and I are at home. Melon and Kittoo are here too.
I hope my fortunes turn and I am beset with infinite bouts of luck!
I hope Arun is fine.
Sunday is family day with Sadhya and Buro.
I applied a little make up today after a long time.
SeeDhi is really into appearances. I have always wanted to, ever since I can remember sought to understand the mind and behaviour.
Another thing-- I have so many deja vu reves at Metamorph from dreams a long long time ago. Life and love are so mystical and mysterious actually. Karma is such a mysterious thing. At each moment we are not only creating a cause but also experiencing something and moments pass and before you know it, you are old!
I really want Ma to have a wonderful time today.
1. Something I accomplished.
I prayed. I did yoga. I went to Metamorph and worked. I wrote a poem. And I also thought a lot about quitting smoking. Just one day cigarette free... i spent good time with Twi.
2. Something I handled well.
I handled the day well. I also handled my emotions well. Im not ignoring the fact that thus far Ive struggled at Metamorph but I am hopeful. I also gave Ma a lot of thought today. She is a strict strict woman. Most teachers are.
3. Something I appreciated.
Professionalism at Metamorph. Twi's friendship. And also the fact that I have money to spoil Pa with mishti doi. I appreciated life today and love and wonder.
4. Something I did for my future self.
Chanting. Yoga. Poetry writing. And this Journal writing.
I am feeling:
Listless.
My brow is lined.
I am grateful for God's infinite love, Grace, blessings and mercy on my life.
Love,
Me.
9.51 pm
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