It was Arun's birthday yesterday and I fought with him. I shouldn't have. Just yesterday I should have allowed him his lies.
I love him. I always will. May be as the years go by my love for him will grow deeper. Hopefully we will be friends then, 20 years from now. Me old, he very old.
But he has told me that I'm not friend material and far from being best friend material and that his ex Candy will always be his best friend. So maybe I should bury all thoughts of being friends with him when he is an old Buddha.
Also he said he was with some girl.
He didn't spend his birthday with me but with some other girl.
Arun is the kind of guy who would have a wife, me and ten other girlfriends. Of course he can talk to as many girls as he likes but he doesn't understand fidelity and loyalty. May be some day he'll realise this.
I'll keep his gift with me if he meets me. And I'll not call him or message him.
If he's flown, he's flown. And I shouldn't hold him back.
But my love for him will remain. Knowing me it's likely to grow stronger. May be 10 years from now I can give some other guy a chance. Till then I'll nurse my heart and tend it with Arun love summoned from my imagination.
May his days grow longer and his heart fonder.
Why do I love him so much? Despite him often telling me I am not his type I always felt a special affinity to him that I've never felt with anyone and a deep fondness, a bond, a connection indescribable. He will always remain my greatest love. But may be all his words of love were just riff raff. Mine weren't. I meant every endearment I told him.
He doesn't call me or message me. And he spent his birthday with some other girl.
My heart is not broken. But it is hurt. And my forgiveness is always his.
May he be happy, successful and grow more charming as the years go by.
As for me, I think I'll be realistic. He doesn't want me. He doesn't have faith in me and like he's told me umpteen times I'm not his type. He's found someone more interesting. So interesting that he spent his entire birthday with her. And I'm not a fool. I'll also never be able to erase from memory how he ogled at Munni during the first innings of the World Cup.
I'll pay him back every penny I owe him.
I missed an important call today because I was in the bank.
Now to get some sleep and get some work done.
I should let things be.
I am grateful for all of life's experiences.
I am grateful for all my loved ones.
I am grateful for God's infinite blessings on me and my loved ones.
Love,
Me.
Love,
Me.
1.51 am
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