Years ago when I was immersed in the lab as a Lifescience student and when I was breaking my back clocking in long hours for years in the newsroom, I never thought that some day I'd be working as a Tarot consultant. All these phases of my life have been most gratifying but Tarot card reading much to people's surprise tops the list. As time goes by the money will also come in.
I am a serious Tarot reader. I don't faff. I base my readings on the cards and when I tell my clients that I'm passionate about it, they are quite surprised. It's viewed as something someone would do to earn some extra cash. It leaves me time for yoga and writing and it's splendid.
I get clients who talk about their cheating ways in relationships and about extramarital affairs. Invariably the cards show that there is love for both partners which they don't deny. They all are stressed out, some seeking therapy from what they say.
Why cheat if you are happy with one partner? Why do it at all?
Trustworthiness and trustfulness are ideals that lead to happiness. And the pursuit of all life is happiness in every way.
When trust is broken a relationship crumbles.
Ma and Pa and Buo have clearly lost their trust in me. The way to build that again is by being responsible first towards oneself and then others.
Arun is also not so responsive these days. May be he doesn't trust me after our last to last fight because he doesn't call, message or meet me.
Today I realised my love language is writing poetry and sweet things for people and Arun's love language is doing symbolic acts for people and saying sweet things.
Ma has been locking everything up in the house for quite some time now and I think she is going senile and I told her that. But she won't understand that.
She is paranoid because she doesn't trust.
Sometimes it is important to just trust when there is a trust deficit-- trust the system, the process and the affairs and trust yourself.
Seeing Ma I feel I should better guard my mental health. Pa is far better. Ma has always been agitated and abrasive and Pa has always been more even tempered.
Which means to fortify my mental health I must not give in to intense grief, fear, pain and worry because this is what cause paranoia.
Arun would also benefit from this.
Ma used to be so depressed when she was younger and may be that's the reason things stand where they do with her. She is a rockstar and I absolutely adore her and love her. I am so grateful to her.
That brings me back to trustfulness and trustworthiness, the fabric of a healthy relationship.
To assuage all the aforementioned emotions that lead to unhappiness it is important to be steeped in reality facing life head on.
Arun would do better and be far happier himself if he works on building trust in relationships no matter what he chooses. A trust deficit gives and takes sorrow.
Trust is the feather the heart is, light and soft in relationships.
Trust averts painful situations.
I must also build trust.
I don't know what the deal with Arun is but he has distanced himself from me. It's an indication of a lack of trust in me.
Trustworthiness and trustfulness only bring happiness to all.
So much for this essay for me.
I am grateful for Arun and all that comes with him.
I am grateful I will work towards growing trust in my relationships from now on.
I am grateful for all my loved ones.
I am grateful for my job as a Tarot consultant.
I am grateful for my healthy relationships and friendships.
Love,
Me.
7.55 pm
No comments:
Post a Comment