Ever since I've started talking to Sam I feel like I've been immersed right at the bottom of the universal ocean of love, so efficacious is his positivity.
When I first started talking to him I missed Arun so deeply that for the first three days I cried in pain and slept all day.
And then of course I met Sam himself. He is such a ball of optimism. Even though I'd decided I won't talk about A all evening that's all I spoke about and S said: "You are so into him."
He came across as such a sweet pious Jewish man and I feel he'd be a great influence on me.
He spoke about his ex, I spoke about A and as it turns out we share a lot in common.
I feel ever since I've met Sam that I've been immersed in the Universal dream with my pulse on it.
As I learnt that Sam's father is the head of the synagogue in India and he comes from a very orthodox Jewish family and will marry only a Jewish girl. That was a little painful to hear at first since he's so amazing but it's lovely. My first real Jewish friend.
The other day after he'd dropped me home he sent me a video about letting go. I just watched the video again and yes, I realise, Arun doesn't want to be with me so I have to let go, completely. I'll always, always love Arun but I must distract myself.
I feel like I've been hypnotised by Sam's positivity. He's so hopeful.
De Jh has been messaging me that he wants to buy me a gift just like that because he thinks I'm so sweet and I've been protesting. Now I've just stopped replying to his messages.
I bought Sam the James Allen and Chaim Potok books and he said he would buy me a nice Torah when he goes to Israel.
It's such a small world! He was at the Israeli embassy party I attended in 2016 on behalf of DNA.
We've decided to be friends which is the right thing because we come from starkly different cultural backgrounds. I really respect him.
His nephews are so cute. Two naughty Jewish boys.
It's wonderful to make friends and it's really wonderful to meet Sam. Like he said: "It seems like us meeting is part of a divine plan and it doesn't feel like we've just gotten to know each other."
It's amazing, life is very very good.
In other news, I've cleared all the rounds of Psat and my training starts next week. I don't think I'll be able to go to Calcutta, which is a great pity.
I am feeling positively beheld and drowsy all day and Ma and Pa say they are feeling exactly like that too. I guess it's the weather.
I think I love Sam but I'll never tell him that. That'll be too precocious and in the way of our friendship.
I am feeling:
Good
Happy
Positive
Grateful
Full of love
Sweet
Loved
Humble
A little worried
I am grateful for this beautiful wonderful life with all its wonderful experiences and all the people who adorn it. I am grateful for God's infinite love, Grace and blessings on my life.
Love,
Me.
6.30 pm
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