I was so sad yesterday. I cried a lot because I love Arun so deeply still. And I'm very grateful that he replied to my messages at night because if he hadn't I would have never slept. I slept like a baby yesterday.
He said he'd call. I'm assuming some day. I was so happy in the morning when I woke up. Because it's always nice to hear from the one you love.
But right now again I'm feeling desolate. Because he did tell me so many times that he doesn't love me anymore, convincing me to that effect.
It's going to be very difficult to just be friends with him but I'll give it a try.
This Vin casting guy has been messaging and calling all morning. I've been ignoring him but may be he really wants to tell me something so I'll call him back.
I have to write the play for the zadankai and I'm just not feeling up for it.
How are Arun's days going? He's so disciplined when it comes to work so I'm sure he's pulling through just fine.
Things will never be the same with him again because I'm so hurt.
When we were breaking up I felt that if he just gave it a chance things would be better than before. But he said then that he doesn't love me and has moved on. It was so easy for him to discard me from his life.
I really hope today is a much better day than yesterday.
And I don't know but I wish I was not so magnanimously emotional about Arun that all I see is him. He doesn't feel that way about me and that's a pity.
I wish things were different. I truly wish.
I wish we were on the same page.
Love,
Me.
12.38 pm
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