All my life I thought about making my parents proud. Ma prayed for me to leave journalism. So she was not proud. Pa has told me far too many times that he is disappointed in me. And my heart has been thwarted by Arun. Ive been beaten up by Buro, ive been physically scarred by Ma and Pa has his own archaic views and is not ready for a dialogue.
I dont think I should live for anybody. I should live for myself. I have an extraordinary life ahead of me.
Employ prayer before any other strategy. Base everything on prayer. This is something ive learnt in life.
Also may I always be humble.
I really want to find love. I really want to find likeminded people. I want a sweet boy, sweeter than Arun to want me and to love me.
I dont think I should bother about making people proud.
I have also learnt in life that prayer can lead to miracles.
I live for myself. This is my life. And im at the centre of it.
Im done with being treated harshly. Im done with being trampled over. And yet, yet may I never become bitter. May I become better spreading love, joy and cheer wherever I go.
Let me hand out hope to people. May I be the reason people value love and good intentions.
May I be the financial backbone of society, may I be the eyes of society, may I be the pillar of society, may I be the great ship of society.
May I respect myself and others. May I be that change that creates a revolution. MAY I ALWAYS WISH PEOPLE WELL.
May Arun's wife Janak and his children be happy. May they be a happy family and may Arun mend his ways and be a doting husband to Janak. That would make her so happy!
May I never covet what is another's. May I never eye someone else's man. I really wish Arun, Janak, Baby and Kannu are the happiest family unit.
Today Ive officially let Arun go. I wish him all the happiness in the world.
I am feeling:
Sad
Teary
I am grateful for God's infinite love, Grace, blessings and mercy on my life.
Love,
Me.
2.39 pm
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