Im in tears. Im actually seriously attempting to move on from Arun. My heart, my heart, my grief, my grief, you wont believe me when I say this but Ill never forget my avoidant Arun.
My shweet cute avoidant Arun who I fell deeply in love with.
To fall in love is a rare thing. If at all, if by any freak power of my destiny there is another love waiting for me let me cherish it and honour it.
Im in shambles. Im in tears. I think around 5.30 ill just get on with studying. I will never have sex ever... with anybody.
Im officially off the dating bandwagon. Im going to so miss Arun, his smell, his sweet kind eyes, his mischiefs, his jokes, his stories, the dark colour of his skin... my love for him knows no bounds.
Why is God so cruel? Why cant he make someone you love, love you?
Im feeling so hurt. Im actually weeping.
I dont think I want to go to Goa with my family. I think Ill tell them that this time.
Ill never be able to stop loving my shweet cute avoidant Arun.
Dear Journal, make my life easier than it is. And help me focus on my work dearest Journal.
Ill never call him up. Ill never message him. If I see him in the middle of the road I wont say Hi.
Actually he hasnt communicated his perspective to me. I know from him point of view he blames me but... but.. his cute shweet dark skin... my love for him... my heart... him cheating, him lying, him hurting me, him never saying sorry... the short relationship.
Im in so much pain right now. I dont want to fall into a depression... ill never be able to love anybody else....
What should I do Journal? Why? Why? Why?
And what should I do?
I want him to fight with me. I want Arun to brutally break my heart so that I can mòve on.
I think Im coming down with a fever.
Love,
Me.
5.12 pm
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