Journal 31.5.2023 5.44 pm weekly time budget

 Dear Journal,

I have been feeling low on self-confidence. 

Ever since I learnt that S'phrenia is a poor man's disease I have been thinking about our means.

Working here at Salt on luxury brands I also feel there is so little I know about luxury. Mash just gave me a small talk on how I should approach luxury. A small part of me feels like quitting this job too, but the experience is invaluable. This is so much better than working for VIBGYOR. I am truly grateful for this job.

Till a few years ago Pa often told me: "Ÿou are a poor man's daughter." To this I often got angry, but that may be the reality. We are not rich.

I went to a rich children's school, Studied in one of the best colleges in the country but I've never been treated to luxuries, or been able to afford luxuries. 

My heart goes out to Bu. He has a lot of friends. That's wealth.

I wish to create wealth and this experience of working here at Salt is simply incomparable.

I mingle with likes of Sunil and gang, who live under the Tarpaulin sheet. I have no qualms. People I work with would look down upon the likes of them.

I want to get rich quickly. Like stinking wealthy and stinking rich.

I've never even travelled abroad.

I wish all my dreams come true.

I love my parents to infinity and beyond, and Bu I love even more.

My priorities:

Weekly budget: 168 hours in a week

Family and love: 10 hours

Friends and love: 5 hours

Exercise, healthy food, good health: Eating and exercise: 28 hours

Money: (Lots of it. About a 1,000 crore in one day.) Will come

Writing: 20 hours

Painting: 8 hours

Selling my writings and paintings: 2 hours

Travel (to explore the nooks and crannies of this Earth): 8 hours

Getting good sleep: 70 hours

Budgeting: 7 hours

Today's budget:

Today I woke up a little after 8 am. Ate my breakfast, smoked a cigarette, and was out of the house by 9. I bought cigarettes for 20 bucks, and reached work at 10 am on a 20 buck rickshaw fare. I finished off the tasks for today with a little tussle, had a chat with Vimesh and Mash. (Will improve my work). I read the My Fair Lady script for about an hour, played with Chat GPT for work and otherwise for about 2 hours. Did not watch YouTube. And chatted with my colleagues, smoked cigarettes, and ate. Does that account for all my time?

I'm going out to meet some screenwriters. I will spend about 1k on food, travel and cigarettes. I think I should really stop living beyond my means. I'll be spending about 1.1k for the day. Will update the budget at the end of the day.

I hope to end the day on a high note.

Love,

Me.

I am grateful for the deep sleep I get each night. I am so lucky. It's also thanks to Pa's Conybio mat.

I am grateful for money. I'm so happy I have money with me to go out for drinks.

I am grateful for this beautiful, wonderful life. It is adorned by my family, my friends, and my experiences.

I am grateful that I write and paint. Half the thing with talent is getting out of your comfort zone.

I am grateful for my relatives like Mashi and Munima. They are a delight.

(I got up to smoke a cigarette with Sanika and to talk to Sah Lihala. spent about 20 minutes on that.)

I am grateful for my self-confidence.

I am grateful for this beautiful, wonderful life.

I am grateful for Bu. He is a blessing.

I am grateful for Sady and Melon. I really hope Bu and Sady's relationship stands the test of time.

I am grateful for my job. It teaches me a lot.

I am grateful for my wonky eyes. They are beautiful.

I am grateful for my friends. They are my jewels.

I am grateful for my phone.

I am grateful for my body.

I am grateful for love, and life.

Love,

Me.

6.29 pm