I was supposed to wake up early today because I had the Vidnet conference to attend but I woke up around 7.43 and was out of the house by 8.28.
I skipped yoga, chanting and everything in between. De Jh was late for the conference. He attended just the last 20 minutes.
There was idli, sandwiches, coffee on the menu. The conference itself was wonderful. I learnt a lot about the ott space and I have a lot more to learn.
Last night I went to sleep after 2 am.
De Jh seems to be a little upset with me for blowing him off earlier. He spoke very passionately about movies and how he doesn't love his wife. He left around 4 because I told him I have work. I do. I have the yoga test to give and a meeting with See Dhi.
Pa Pa called several times. I finally picked up his call and he said he wants to meet me.
Last night I was feeling a kind of longing ache for Arun but I finally managed to sleep. I think it was the coffee I had with Pa Pa that kept me awake.
Pa Pa treated me to momos, coffee and cigarettes last evening. I need to talk to him. Somehow it seems that he thinks there is a chance with me.
I gave it a lot of thought last night. While Pa Pa seems like the loyal kind who would never cheat on a girl, I don't want to lead him on. Because at the end of the day I won't marry him. And I don't want another Ro Ro or Bha crying and pleading with me. I don't want to break his heart.
Last evening See Dhi, Gau, Ma and Me studied the Causality for victory in life and we practised singing I Arise.
My thoughts: One must not leave relationships at the mercy of one's judgmentality and prejudices. I seek to unshackle people from my judgments and stay away from hatred. I must breed love and kindness in my heart. And I should forgive others and myself.
I hope to pay A back all his money soon. The thought occupies a lot of my mindspace.
I am going to chant now and then give the yoga test and then meet See Dhi. She hasn't seen my message yet.
I am feeling:
The cool dry breeze that has made my skin dry.
Happy
Serious
A tad foggy
Full of love
With the intention to be kind to all
Eager to see a breakthrough in my career
I am grateful for God's infinite love, Grace and blessings on my life.
I am grateful for life and all the good fortune I have.
I am grateful for my family and friends and all the special moments I share with them.
I am grateful for food, clothes, shelter and money.
I am grateful for books. (I have 30 pages of Judas to finish. Then I'll read A Roy's book.)
I am grateful that I've inculcated discipline into my life.
I am grateful for myself.
I am wearing a black sleeveless spandex top with my black fisherman's pants. I paired this with a black blazer for the event today. Dressed down in black!
The event was spectacular! I had a great time even though I didn't talk much to people.
Pa is on his way back from a day long trip with his friends. I hope he had fun.
Love,
Me.
5.13 pm
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