RaTi called me a while ago. I went down to meet him. He was with his son.
I think... I think... out of all the things he told me, he propositioned me. That is what I understood. He spoke about two families and what not.
I think I'll keep my distance from him. I don't like this kind of attention from men.
I'm wearing my short pink dress. I think I'll change into something more decent.
I'll chant now, then study. I don't have so much time to think about men and sex.
DeJh sent me long messages about his dream in the morning.
I am sexually very conservative even though I wear short clothes. And frankly, I don't like this sexual attention from men.
I love my parents.
I really want to quit smoking.
Me and RaTi each had a cold coffee from Cat Cafe.
Then I came home and had pabda jhol.
I think I'll take my yoga mat and spend some time in Nature.
RaTi just called asking if I felt bad or something. Now what do I tell him? I'm not interested in him! I seek independence! I don't want any man chasing me like this.
I really miss talking to Arun. I really miss Arun.
I am feeling:
Boundary-crossed
Slightly irritated
Eager to have a good day
I am grateful for food, shelter and money.
I am grateful for my teachers and students.
I am not grateful for what RaTi told me today or how many men look at me.
I am grateful for loving relationships of mutual love, mutual trust and mutual respect.
I am grateful for the garden where I am going to go do yoga now.
What is inside my heart reflects in the environment.
I don't trust men like RaTi.
Arun and I never had sex. I can't sleep around. I really can't!
I am grateful for God's infinite Love, Grace and Blessings on my life and the lives of my loved ones.
Love,
Me.
3.10 pm
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