I woke up a while ago and went for a short walk. Ma critiqued my essay yesterday and pointed out things I should change which showed her own prejudices.
I don't agree with a single point she brought out. That shows my own resistance to her. But that's how I see it. I think she is being unreasonable and pointed out things for the heck of pointing out, I don't know why. To just give her opinion.
Haroon also messaged me and I had a light, playful discussion with him.
I saw a dream about Guz throwing a birthday party and inviting a bunch of people including Nash. At some point I was slightly upset that Guz and Nash were friends now. Nash wanted to talk to me.
At some point a man showed me a brochure of a place with a new kind of grass and told me he would take me there. The new kind of grass looked pretty.
I threw an empty old bag out on to a railway track out of which a crow emerged.
And Guz told me she's been making jewellery and she would gift me some. She showed me a video of her collecting crystals to make jewellery at her workplace.
She showed me a few bags she had made out of cane, big and small, and I wanted one of her bags.
And then I woke up. Life has a funny way of surprising one and only I can change towards people and my circumstances, not expecting anything out of anyone.
I don't want to bemoan my existence and I think I'll write it all out.
Loneliness and unhappiness can be quite crippling but I'll still walk the walk. I won't stop.
I am feeling:
Eager to start the day.
Free.
Grateful for my family and friends, this home, this journal, my notebook and pen and all the many thoughts that arise in my mind and my heart.
I am grateful for God's infinite love, Grace and blessings on my life.
Love,
Me.
9.03 pm
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