The phone is very distracting.
Today me, Pa and Ma left early for Pujo. We met Abhikaku and fam and Buntydi and fam at Mission.
We sat there for quite some time and then moved to other Pujos, hunting for Bhog. In the process I tore the sari I was wearing and we finally had Bhog at Chitrakoot.
It was a delightful affair. I found myself judging Ma a lot. But she is human. She has plenty of good qualities and I love her. She is so sweet and cute, vibrant and funny, intelligent and conversational. I love her.
Through the days gone past I have had A at the back of my mind and have been blaming myself for all my faults and mistakes.
But the point is that he is married. Whether he cheats on his wife or not is none of my business. But if he can't be loyal to his wife despite loving her then he has a problem with loyalty and that's a huge red flag.
I sent him the Bijoya message I drafted for everyone and then I deleted it. I actually shouldn't talk to him at all. He'll judge me for it but he's the one who went absolutely cold.
Then later after our excursion the relatives came home and I made lemon tea for all of them. Buntydi has blocked me on WhatsApp but it was good to see her all hale and hearty.
We had a good time all in all.
This Bijoya my resolutions are:
To discipline my mind.
To focus on work.
To become the best version of myself.
To give my all to my loved ones.
To cultivate a positive optimistic mindset.
To be humble.
Desires are indeed the root cause of all suffering but there is no life without desires.
Today Matt called. Why does he so brazenly flirt with me? It's very unnerving and not welcome.
I also got a call from Shanky.
I am feeling:
Loved
Loving
Tolerant
Patient
Positive
Calm and placid
Blissful
Happy
Grimy/need to take a bath
Sweet
Slightly worried
I am grateful that this Bijoya went so well. I am grateful for all of life's experiences and all the people who grace my life across the three existences. Above all, I am grateful to my exemplary parents.
It is alright to fail. It is not alright to not try again and again.
Today Buntydi said something very beautiful about the Yamas in Yoga. Talking about Samadhi she said that when you do something do it with your full concentration. It could be anything but concentration is everything. That is the secret to success. That's something I'll cultivate right from now. I love. I love everyone.
I am grateful for the lovely Pulao I had today.
Oh and also, I saw Kajol at a shoulder's distance today. She is quite a feisty lady with a lot of gumption. She is quite short but she is pretty for sure.
It was a lovely day and I'm super grateful for it.
Love,
Me.
9.27 pm
No comments:
Post a Comment