I woke up in the morning and did my morning ablutions, took a bath etc. Then I had to literally push myself to chant and do yoga. I told myself that a thing that must be done must be just done. Just showing up is the task accomplished.
I called up Kari from YI and I'll focus on working with her. Somewhere along the way Matt messaged for some pictures to be plugged into the sailing article. I messaged him back that he needn't pay so that I could do the article more objectively.
I just received a call from him with him shouting at me and hurling profanities. He hasn't even paid me for my work before this. This is not the first time that he is being so rude. So I cut the call and blocked him. I just had kept him unblocked because he needed to pay me. This was racism at its worst.
I think I'll forego the payment and get along with my day and my life. I may visit boat club to meet people who sail this week. I really need to plan my week.
I messaged Arun with a picture that came up in my memories, saying that I still love him. I just had to tell him. Where did his love disappear? Well life never goes as planned.
A day well spent is one where there is resolute action with a happy heart.
When people bitch about someone with you your view of the bitchee gets coloured. This is a reminder that I must not believe in rumours and I must not talk behind people's backs and I must view life and people objectively.
I am feeling:
Slightly disturbed with Matt shouting at me. I am never going to unblock him. He is permanently on my blocked list.
I am feeling teary.
I am feeling slightly sad and slightly happy.
I am feeling a little annoyed.
I am feeling clean.
I am feeling ready to face the day.
I am feeling sweet.
I am feeling geared to perform.
I am feeling like reading a bit, which I think I'll do.
I am feeling loving and full of love.
I am feeling slightly hurt.
I'm sure I'm feeling like this because my periods are coming up. When I fought with Arun the last time, I got my periods unexpectedly the next day. My PMS is real these days. But there's no point telling A that. I wouldn't have expected him to understand.
I am grateful for this blessed life with all the people who grace it and all its varied experiences.
I am grateful for my parents and my little brother. I am grateful for God's mercies and His benevolent Grace on me.
Love,
Me.
1.21 pm
Ps: That Arun doesn't want to talk to me says a lot. I have to be able to let him go and let life take him where he is happy. I love him most deeply and I always will.
1.24 pm
No comments:
Post a Comment