Dear Journal,
I am sitting and sitting on this article, ruminating on how to manage it. I've made plans for it over the past three days and it's just about getting done with it now. I have all my quotes, and I have the structure in my head, now to just write it.
Ma gave me some money to buy footwear. I haven't shopped for a while. The last was when I took A to CWC. I set myself off in this Autumn heat and bought myself some nice stuff.
The people closest to us are not always on our minds. But their influence reigns supreme on our psyche and how we approach each day.
I remember about 36 and a half years ago I lay in deep sleep, probably also relishing a dream when Pa, who was young and handsome at the time woke me up. He drove me to a quaint hospital and I remember entering a room painted green with dim lights.
Ma looking as happy as ever and tired was holding my little baby brother in her arms. Pa said, "That is your brother." And that and the first time I held Chotto in my arms a few days later remain my best memories with him.
That is how I view Chotto. A small, cute, sweet little baby who needs attention and care and love. Growing up, Ma and Pa often said that I was the one who had spoilt him.
I always took his side when it came to him asking for a few extra bucks from Ma and Pa for excursions with his friends, or when he wanted to take trips or go on outings with his friends.
No matter how bugged he is with me, or how angry, or how troubled, I find it difficult to remain angry with him or upset with him. I love him to bits and I worry about him.
He is married now and a very responsible young man, who hates being photographed. I love him.
He has put up with a lot and that has made him stronger.
I often felt when he lived here that he was just whiling away his time but now I realise that football, which is a high-intensity game, needs its players to rest and recuperate.
I have a lot to learn from Chotto:
1. How to value relationships and friendships.
2. How to take responsibility.
3. How to deal with situations maturely. He is far more mature than me.
4. How to respect people.
5. How to be caring no matter what.
6. How to be focused.
7. How to have a sense of humour.
8. How to smile in the face of adversity.
9. How to set goals and chase them.
10. And above all, how to be an exemplary human being with values so strong that one is forever propelled forward.
11. How to stand up for what is right.
12. And how to be judicious.
He is cooler than the two of us.
How can I better my relationship with Chotto:
1. Listen when he is talking.
2. Take care of myself so that he is not worried.
3. Buy him thoughtful gifts.
4. Be grateful to him for the gazillion ways he shows his love and care.
5. Tell him that I love him and care for him.
6. Cook for him.
7. Learn from him.
8. Always maintain a harmonious equation with him.
9. Pray for him.
10. Do things for him.
I am feeling:
. Hopeful
. Happy
. Sentimental
. Loving
. Eager
. Focused
. Grateful
. Realistic
. Dirty. I need to take a bath.
. Sweet
. Relaxed
. Untroubled
. Geared to perform
. I am grateful that Ma gave me money to buy footwear. I bought some nice stuff and I'm very grateful for that.
. I am grateful for all the amazing food I eat.
. I am grateful for the article I have to write.
. I am grateful that I read every day. I am very grateful to Ma for imparting me with a love for books.
. I am grateful that I am in a positive frame of mind and am happy.
. I am grateful for this beautiful house that I call home.
. I am grateful for all the stalwart authors I read.
. I am grateful for my friends.
. I am grateful for the love I have experienced.
. I am grateful for the people I encounter daily. They shape my life.
. I am grateful for my good health.
. I am grateful for the money.
. I am grateful for all my possessions.
. I am grateful for Buro and all the many ways he brightens my life.
. I am grateful for Sadhya and her love.
. I am grateful for my parents and how they have shaped me.
. I am grateful for work.
. I am grateful for this wonderful beautiful life and my many blessings.
Love,
Me.
6.05 pm
No comments:
Post a Comment