After seeing A today in his passing car even I feel I don't love him so much anymore. May be I don't want to meet him anymore.
Of course I love him the way I love humanity and I appreciate all his good qualities but I feel I'm losing my love for him. If I was with him I would have been patient and wait for the flames to be aroused again but unfortunately I feel the flames are being doused. And of course there is no chance of rekindling the fire since we don't meet or talk. It's also the effect of all the dreams I've been having of him.
So much for that!
I've been unwell the past three days and I think I should rest. I really feel nauseous.
I know A is not kind to me when he talks about me. And I think this phase is going to pass by very soon.
Today in the morning Pa was so loving towards me just the way he used to be when I was a child. I love my father. No man can come close to my father.
I am feeling:
Hurt
Happy
Nauseous
Loving
I am grateful for life with all its experiences and all the people who feature in it.
Love,
Me.
6.03 pm
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