I woke up from a dream where I saw A walking alone down a path. Of course I googled the meaning, which said he has moved on.
For the past few days I've been thinking about Ch mashi. The way she complains about Sharmila and exhibits her selfishness doesn't make me like her. But then nobody is perfect.
Today I met Debo. And as I was sitting and listening to her talk, I thought about Ma-- how she didn't let me invite any of my friends for Buro's wedding, how she threatens to break my door down and her legendary rage. I was gripped by a pain in my heart and a lot of hurt.
Ma and Ch Mashi have never been easy to deal with. They are both highly aggressive.
But they are both sweet, very intelligent, have an infectious sense of humour, are responsible and loveable.
It's all about choosing to see the brighter side of things.
The Dalai Lama says, "Sometimes things not working out is a wonderful stroke of luck."
I studied the Buddhist practice of gratitude with Debo and shared my pain with her.
She shared her own challenges she has with her children.
Sometimes it's about just showing up and doing things that we have to do but don't feel like doing.
Sometimes it's about accepting our loved ones with all their flaws because that's what people want from each other-- acceptance.
Sometimes it's about showing love and being grateful and respectful because everybody has the seed of greatness in them.
It's about loving and giving and colluding to create memories.
Sometimes just having a sense of humour can ease the pain.
Sometimes it's about loving and living just for the heck of it because God has given us that privilege.
And it's about seizing each day, rising up to challenges and sharing smiles and tears.
I met H Mehta the other day, who said he wants to take me to a place near Larsen and Toubro and buy me some books.
It's about accepting friends and loving them for who they are.
I woke up to a lovely greeting from Subbu with a pic of her in the saree I gifted her.
I am feeling:.
Slightly pained
Unfocused
Distracted
Hurt
Happy
Eager to face the day
Grateful
Hopeful
Sweet
Accepting
Loving
Vibrant
I am grateful for all my friends like Debo and others. It's wonderful to have friends to have dialogues with.
I am grateful for my parents. I am grateful that they bear with me and support me and love me no matter what.
I am grateful that I experienced Arun's love. I am grateful for having experienced a significant phase of my life.
I am grateful for Buro. I discovered his diary recently where he has written about me. I didn't know that he thought so well and so much about me. I love him the most.
I am grateful for Sadhya. She completes our lives.
I am grateful for the nourishing food I eat each day.
I am grateful for the wonderful home I live in given to me by my father's hand.
I am grateful that I love writing.
I am grateful for music and Ted Talks.
I am grateful for the many stalwart giants from whose shoulders the small ordinary me propels forward.
I am grateful for all my mistakes. I am a much better humanbeing for having made mistakes in my life.
I am grateful for my sorrows and pains. It makes me more compassionate and loving.
I am grateful for life's many joys. I am grateful that I hope and work towards my desires.
I am grateful for my clothes, books and all my possessions.
I am grateful for my education.
I am grateful that God has gifted me a beautiful mind that is forever evolving unto wisdom.
I am grateful for my body.
I am grateful for my friends who keep in touch with me.
I am grateful for time.
I am grateful for all of life's experiences.
I am grateful for all the people who grace my life across the three existences.
Love,
Me.
1.48 pm
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