Nothing ever goes as planned. And such are my days too.
Last night the casting guy from Bangalore Vin called up again and again. And the first thing I wake up in the morning I see a call from him.
It was about another shoot and I agreed to audition. I wished after that that I could discuss it with A and see what he thought about it.
Vin took away my entire morning and I didn't get any writing done. In the middle Matt messaged and I told him I'd talk to him at 3.
I promptly called him at 3 and he was so full of praises. I don't much like him. And if he had paid me by now I would have probably blocked him.
We got to talking about the sailing article; I find Matt to be a very dicey character and I refused to meet him anytime soon. Anyway the sailing article is underway.
Then I messaged A a Dassera greeting because I thought I should. And with that I messaged him that I'd like to talk to him. About 30 minutes later I called him and he said he was busy and that he would call me after two hours.
He called me back a little before 4.15 pm and I was so happy. I often make up reasons that support the cause that us not being together is a good thing. The Truth is till date Arun is always on my mind.
The fact that he doesn't call me means that he must be having a lot of grievances against me. May be he has even moved on.
I still love him. He harbours a very very special spot in my heart. I'll never be able to love another just the way I love him. He is very special.
Anyway, A said that I should ask for the script and the sense that I got was that I shouldn't be against doing a movie such as this (with semi bold scenes).
I was so happy to hear that he wears the shirts we bought together. He sounded a little weary and that got me really worried about his health.
I still love Arun absolutely. I so wanted to say I Love You to him when we were hanging up but I held back, given that the last I heard he didn't love me anymore. You can't make someone love you. I'll always cherish Arun and I hope he does call me like he said he would. Anyway, we hung up and I messaged to thank him a little later to which he sent a cold thumbs up. So that's that.
Then I messaged Vin that I'm free and we got into the audition. I'm keeping my fingers crossed that if I'm selected for the film this film would be decent to watch.
Finally, Vin messaged that out of the few girls who auditioned mostly I'd be selected.
Then he called around 7. When I finally felt that the situation was getting a little exploitatory I kind of snapped. Then I politely told him that it being Dassera I had plans with my family. So let's see where this goes. I, of course, asked for the script.
In other news, Ma had a great time with her friends at lunch and Pa made me talk to Abhi k and gang. Melon and Kit Kat are home. And life is good. I wish I was aceing it at earning the booty and that shall also happen.
Before going for a walk in the evening I briefed Ma about the audition. I really love Ma. She was in such a bad mood in the morning.
Sometimes you wonder why it's so hard for someone and then you remember how hard it's been for you. Just a little bit of understanding and liking things we don't naturally like but ought to like as an exercise can alleviate the pain and wipe away the sordidness.
I am feeling:
A little phased out with the audition
A little placid with a tinge of happiness
And a tinge of pain
And worry
Lovely
Loving
Full of love
In a happy place
Hopeful
Missing Arun
Sweet
Helpful
A little angry (with Matt)
Grimy (shall tidy up my room and head for a bath)
A little heart racing
Ma said she would need my help with coconut laddoos. Let's see where that is at.
I am grateful that I spoke to A today. I am grateful for all of life's experiences and all the people who grace my life. I am grateful for God's infinite love, Grace and blessings.
Love,
Me.
9.35 pm
No comments:
Post a Comment