Buro's birthday is close! I'm so excited because Mashi and Mesho will be here for his birthday. I love Buro. Despite all his flaws I love him the most in the whole wide world.
I've not been doing yoga as diligently as before-- just a bit because I wake up all anxious for the past two days from my dreams.
But just because I falter I must not give up.
I've also not been chanting in the evenings. I must sit and pray at least for five minutes. Now that's doable. James Allen has put me in a reverie about the causes I've created and am creating.
I always tell my friends that there are different aspects to life. For me it is career and finances, health, studies, Arun, and my relationships with my family and other friends besides taking care of things like trying to quit smoking, prayer and living a wholesome life in all. If one just fixes one aspect of life all other aspects will fall in place. When one aspect is derailed all other aspects get derailed. This is like an unspoken rule of life.
I tell my friends this but I don't follow it.
As I was taking a walk today I decided that I would make all out efforts in my career and finances, health, and studies because these are doable and much needed.
The problem is in the past whenever I falter I tend to give up. But I won't. I'll renew my determination and make efforts. I will continue to perseveare. If I have money I can dote on my family and Arun and that is so required.
Also I thought about how Arun has never ever suggested that I work with him. He never makes any plans in that direction. When we were dating he very nicely severed his work life from me. And that's hurt me a lot because I've felt judged.
I never really ever discuss work with him too myself. I really think he is super talented and I know he'll go places.
His guidance on getting into character and his dissection of character was so enlightening and to the point.
As I was walking I thought to myself that I must make myself capable. So capable that someone like Arun would want to work with me. So efforts are going to be in that direction.
No matter what happens between us I know that I want him in my life. He's too precious to let go of. But what will happen only time will tell.
Today I wasted a lot of precious time in the morning. I cannot do that. Mornings are to be harnessed. I think it was because of my dream.
I think today apart from Tarot I'll also pitch some more ideas to Shu Pa.
In other news, I'm so excited that Nagesh's film has been nominated for an Oscar. I hope he wins it.
I wish myself a great fruitful day.
Love,
Me.
11.45 am
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