For the past three days my head was in the clouds. I hope it's not so today and that I'm able to be far more present. I only listened to music for the past three days and thought about Arun.
Yesterday we were at a bar and Pa called up and he sounded very upset, asking me who I was with. I really wish Pa and Ma were not so upset with me. I love them.
Yesterday was also voting day and Pa was so friendly with me in the morning just the way he's always been. And I thought may be he's made peace with what he thinks. But I am answerable to my parents. And I do wish I was headed somewhere with Arun but I don't bring it up because it's not easy. And I would never want him to hurt his children.
Why do people have extra-marital affairs?
I so love him and so adore him.
At some point in the evening I was feeling gloomy and sent him lots of messages. And I must have a grip on my mind.
He also told me that his friend S doesn't want to meet me. That also made me very sad.
Additionally, our yoga certificates will be given to us at the end of this month.
And love is a worthy cause, right?
I've been delaying the Pepper assignment and I'll sit on it today.
Love is an abstract noun but it's also a verb; in order to feel love, you have to love.
Love comes with sacrifice, patience and effort. And it's such a great feeling.
I don't think I can ever let Arun go.
Sometimes these days I do feel he's so much older. But he is soo cute and such an awesome human being that I don't care a damn what the age difference is. That's how I mostly think about this.
I so wish for so many things and I hope life unfolds beautifully in front of me, bedazzling me.
The biggest Truth is that whatever I've ever wished for, I have got.
And I wish that God won't give me the things that my mind has harped on in times of gloom.
I won't drink a cola today and I won't smoke a lot.
Things to do today:
Pepper assignment
Write
Yoga
Meditation
Love,
Me.
I am grateful for my beautiful life. Life is truly wonderful.
I am grateful for my sweet boyfriend and all that comes with him. He means a lot to me. I am grateful that I have him and his sweet love. I so deeply adore him.
I am grateful for my parents. My parents are awesome.
I am grateful for Chotto. I wish he didn't look so sad.
I am grateful for this Journal.
I am grateful for work.
I am grateful for the food I eat.
I am grateful for all my friends.
I am grateful for the beautiful hearts in my life that guide and spur me on.
I am grateful for music.
I am grateful for money.
I am grateful for God's infinite love, Grace and blessings.
I am grateful for my beautiful home.
And I'm grateful for books that teach me so much.
I am grateful for love.
I am grateful for poetry. Life is poetry. Life is magic and I'm one of the world's greatest magicians.
9.37 am.
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