Abhikaku and Sudkakima just left. We spoke for such a long time. Sometimes I find myself resenting Ma-- I find her a tad selfish. And she kept coughing throughout the evening. Im a little worried about her.
Abhikaku and Sudkakima told me that Im such a good person... not girl... person. I floated the idea that they find me a groom. To which everybody erupted and said the grass always seems greener on the other side.
They discussed marriage, death, health....
I thought about Arun. Im not expecting anything from him. I just purely love him.
Pa asked me to find someone on my own. Now that's a tall order that's been set for me. The average Joe here in India doesnt interest me.
Anyway Im the emcee at tomorrow's zadankai.
Hope it goes well. I hope Arun is happy.
I am feeling:
Loving
Happy
Sombre
It's a beautiful night and I am soooo drowsy. I have Arun on my mind and hope he is ballsy.
I dont know how his days are going but Id love to be there for him as he gets older. I so so soooooo love him. He is shoooooo cute.
Love,
Me.
1 am
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