Letter to myself (for Esc) 23.6.2024 9.34 pm

Hey awkwardly posed, dusky damsel, who sometimes puts on the garb of Damsel in distress,

Noone knows you better than I do, noone ever can and noone ever will.

You are 39 years old and it's the middle of a pesky monsoon in 2024.

Something tells me that you are a little bit hurt today and are nursing a wounded heart.

Nobody thinks about you as much as I do. Nobody loves you the way I do. And I'm your best judge and your best critic.

Naysayers may say a lot of things. People may also shower you with words of praise that they don't truly mean.

After a long time you say that you have fallen in love. What does that feel like? Lovely that you are I'm sure the man is deserving of your sweet affections. He is, isn't he?

Your parents love you.

You forged the path of Buddhism in your family that your parents took to like fish takes to water.

You say that you feel so connected to Shakyamuni that you've grown passionate about his path.

What do you feel about yourself?

I won't harp today on the past except for may be just a few words. If you look closely at the past you will realise that it's a mix of your strengths and weaknesses, resulting in some failures but a story of lovely success that is about to unfurl with full gusto. Forgive yourself. Love yourself. Because for me you are always forgiven. And I will always love you.

Cease the self loathing. Give yourself a pat on your back for keeping your chin up against all odds.

Today, I want to talk about a few things that you told me in dreams.

That you've taken a vow is something that only I know. Your deepest desires only I know and your secrets only I guard.

Who is the one person you could share all your secrets with? Nobody, right? And I'm not going to spill the beans here.

You have suffered. When people hear your story, the whole story, the way you tell it they think you must be a dynamo.

Do you know what I think?

I think you have made mistakes and you should forgive yourself for them.

I think your vow and your prayers are going to adorn your life with beautiful jewels.

I think you are stalwart.

I think you are exceptional.

I think you are truly exemplary.

I think you have a lovely heart and a blazing spirit.

I think you are blessed.

I think you are one of God's sweetest creations.

I think you are a symbol of love and compassion.

I think you are wise. Wiser than you think.

I think you should get some exercise everyday.

I think you are beautiful.

I think you really are in love.

I think you are more talented than you give yourself credit for.

I think you are soft and sweet and that God won't let you suffer anymore than you already have.

I think you should spend more time with your parents.

And I think you are precious, to be treasured and anybody who is loved by you is truly blessed and lucky.

I think you are blessed and lucky.

Love,

Your best friend.

10.04 pm