I was reading how rejecting Harvey Weinstein and people like him cost senior actresses their careers.
I know that people like ShuBha, Ssk, sk, PraNag, AnkGau, SahSe, AnkMi, ShuTi and many men may have sullied my reputation. Now there is RaTi. He has been calling me up almost everyday. And today I just ignored his calls!
It's not just that. There is also of course my health. But I feel trapped in a corner. If I get out of this corner and mingle with men I feel that I will have to circumvent a lot of toxicity.
I am not going to sleep around.
I've been in toxic relationships. And that does not feel good. Even Arun was toxic in a way but for a huge amount of time he treated me with respect and I'll never forget that.
What kind of people treat their bodies like commodities? May be people who are deeply scarred, deeply hurt, deeply lonely....
I've been scarred, hurt and I've never felt more lonely in my life. And that has caused me to go into this coccoon from where I will have to fly out at some point, a glorious butterfly.
My students could have been my children! Yesterday I was telling the Grade 8 batch about relationships at my age. I don't think they understood. And I didn't harp on it too much because I didn't want to be flagged off for speaking the inappropriate.
Out of the Grade 8 batch Anora is the most intelligent. Kyra is bubbly and cute. Danika is so naughty and giggly. And Lakshit! He is a sample piece.
I'm quite enjoying teaching.
To a much much much better tomorrow!
I am feeling:
Happy
Solemn
Very present
Well rested
I am grateful for God's infinite love, Grace and blessings on my life.
Love,
Me.
6.10 pm
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