Today I woke up rather late from a very lengthy and heavy dream. I felt stupefied on waking up and it took me quite a while to gather my bearings.
Then I set off to meet Dr Shinde. I told him about my Avocado allergy and I discussed my career with him. We had a detailed discussion on artificial intelligence.
Then I went to the bank with Ma and Pa and on the way had a huge fight with Ma. I bumped into N outside the bank. She said she will call me up.
On my way back I wanted to hear Arun's voice so I called him up. I asked him if he sees me in his life for a long time to which he said, "Ya." We both agreed to be friends because I told him friendship lasts. I love Arun.
Daisaku Ikeda says: "A good relationship is one where two people are looking towards the same direction." He doesn't talk about love, he doesn't talk about compatibility and he doesn't talk about respect. He talks about a common vision for life. Of course, Buddhism is about venerating all beings and seeing the Buddha nature in all just like Boddhisattva Never Disparaging who venerated all those he encountered.
Then I came back home and had a light lunch.
I lay around contemplating and I realised that somehow I have forgotten how to live with grace and I must not let my spark dim.
Then I set off for rehearsals. Ever since Ra Ti has tried to become friends with me he always points out to everybody each day that I'm a very good girl.
Today he said: "Iska Pati Kaun nahin banna chahega. Iska svabhav Kitna achcha Hai."
Rehearsals went on till after 10.30.
I walked back home and had doodh rooti kola cheeni for dinner. They are planning to have all-day rehearsals till the show. That's got to be tiring.
Today during rehearsals many thoughts crossed my mind. Me, Ku Va and Hi had Manchurian, we all had many samosas each and I made tea.
I even chanted with seven-year-old Arjun and played with him.
I'm kind of feeling a sense of release and my mind is at ease.
This play reminds me of Ramu's play that I did when I was 15. I feel like my awkward 15-year-old self.
Ku Va sang many old Hindi songs today as Ra Ti was in a meeting. He also sang many ghazals.
I think everybody is performing well in the play but everybody always praises me. Because grasping the dialogues has been tougher for me given that I think in English.
Tomorrow in the morning I'll call up jd and sort that out.
I hope I can maintain this peace of mind and happiness.
I think I'll chant now and then doze of.
I am feeling:
Clear-headed
Sleepy
Happy
Happy for Arun
Loving
Determined to turn around my life
Love,
Me.
12 am
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