I was feeling positively low and sordid these past few days. There was a certain pain in my heart and I was feeling heartbroken by Arun and at the sense of having lost something.
Then De Jh came along today. Sometimes you just need a friend to pick you up.
He's brought the laughter back. And the sullenness has given way to joy.
We spent a lot of time together. All in all about over four hours. I took him to Ma Studio. I might meet him next week too.
He is a funds manager in the stock market.
He gave me many examples about how the markets reflect life. I can tell you a few things as I remember them.
He said that for those who invest in stocks losses are immininent and a part of the game. It's just best to accept it and only then will one make headway. Similarly in life sometimes you lose. It's important to count your losses and move ahead.
Then he said amid the flurry and scurry of the market it's important to keep a zen like calm and not lose your head. Only then can you win. In life too it's important, he said, to be unwavered by the ups and downs. Only then can you win.
And then De Jh left.
I can't seem to talk about Arun without tears in my eyes. But I'm moving past the hurt and pain. N feels that I'll never forget Arun. That I'll carry him with me forever.
In other news, I got shortlisted for the Mother's Recipe ad!!! I'm keeping my fingers crossed. I really want this.
I think I'll have a bath and chant some gratitude daimoku.
Today makes me feel that there is hope. All is not lost. Life is good. The shortlist encourages me to start messaging casting guys again. Tomorrow.
Na Bho wanted to meet me today but that was not possible.
It's been a good day.
I had doodh rooti kola cheeni for dinner and am feeling absolutely full.
Last night I slept really late because I was messaging A. Tonight I'll go to sleep early.
I am feeling:
Happy
Hurt
Loving
Joyful
Sweaty
Hopeful
I am grateful that I had a good time with De Jh today.
I am grateful that I'm able to let go of Arun and still keep the love alive.
I am grateful for the yummy food I ate today and the delicious coffee I had at Ma Studio.
I am grateful that life is good.
Today I threw away five packets of cigarettes determining that I'll stop smoking. Then I retrieved two of those packets. May I quit smoking.
In the wisps of life
Lie the flames of time
Bound by a hunger
Blithe and divine.
Love,
Me.
10.07 pm
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