Journal 5.6.2025 9.27 pm a need to collect myself

Dear Journal,

I had a goodish to okayish day. I read a lot. I met N. And I reflected on how things are with Arun.

There is a certain stillness in my soul, a sort of calm platitude and I'm very grateful for it.

Kit and Melon are here. Surprisingly I'm grieving Miso.

I almost always tear up when I talk about Arun. I miss him and I love him.

There are three books vying for my attention-- Murphy, the child psychology book and Chetan Bhagat. Which one should I read first?

I've been going through a lot of Tarot content on YouTube. I really like Renaissance Tarot by Your Funny Armenian Guy. The guy is funny and charming in his own way. And my is he accurate! I also like Tarot 777 after which I've named my own channel.

I didn't get a whole lot of views and some people from my Artists group gave me tips on how I could better my videos. On Saturday I'll shoot a whole new range of videos.

Today me and Ma gorged on Bhel. Kit is so cute! He spent time with me in my room. Kit jaisa koi nahin.

I don't really like any of the other channels. The Armenian dude usually talks only about relationships, nothing more. Tarot 777 is more holistic.  

I've also started listening to music again after a long time.

It's our tendencies that result in loss or victory. I must be more vigilant about my tendencies. 

Letter to Shimoyama is a long Gosho, and frankly I find the Gosho a little brainwashing. I'm not so much of a fighter as Nichiren was. For me I'd rather live and let live. And frankly I've learnt a lot from Zen Buddhism, something Nichiren Buddhists look down upon.

I also find that my day goes much better when I finish off my morning routine. Yoga peps me up. Even ten minutes of it.

I wonder how Arun's bones are healing. Is he taking care of himself? I hope to God he is! It's crucial at the healing stage to give absolute attention and care.

I just dropped Sadhya, Melon and Kit to an auto.

In other news the D 639 house is being broken down.

I have to do the bs assignment. I have till Sunday to complete it. I'll also call up An from Ob on Tuesday.

I am feeling:

Calm and collected

Loving

Focused

Disciplined

Find a need to collect my thoughts and reflect

I hope to God I sleep well tonight and see good dreams.

Bh has absolutely stopped talking to me after I shunned him when he was drunk the other day. Good riddance to bad rubbish. 

I am grateful that I'm healthy and that I managed to do yoga today.

I am grateful that I met N today.

I am grateful that Arun and I are bantering.

I am grateful that for most part of the day the weather was pleasant.

I am grateful that I treated Ma to Bhel today.

Love,

Me.

9.58 pm