The struggle is real. I've tried my hands at multiple things in the past two years. Right from writing to Tarot to doing two films and giving auditions. The struggle is real.
As far as Arun is concerned I carry a very palpable pain in my heart.
Today I woke up feeling bichchiri since I slept late. Then I tried to get my peace of mind back by meditating and fell asleep.
I just woke up to a call from Na Bho. He wanted to catch up but De Jh is coming home so I had to can that.
I hope I can find my bearings today. Some love, some laughter, something interesting, something creative.
The stalemate can't last this long. I must challenge the Gohonzon.
My vision for my life:
I imagine my life to be a grand affair. I always have, I always did. But somewhere along the way the dream got tarnished. I imagine my life to be one of service and love and humour and laughter and a few tears. I imagine absolute joy being mine. My life is mine to make.
I can't feel like this.
I want to feel the love in my heart again.
I want to be inspired to write good poetry.
I want to feel happy and empowered.
I want a sense of independence.
I want to experience good health.
I want happiness, peace, love.
Loving Arun was phenomenal but it's over and there is a great distance between us.
I am feeling:
Sleepy and groggy
Geared to face the day
Ok OK
I am grateful that I'm meeting De Jh today.
I am grateful for good health.
I am grateful for this peace of mind that has engulfed me.
I am grateful that I had a yummy Shor and bread breakfast after a long time.
I am grateful that I got a good nap.
Love,
Me.
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