Firstly, I love Arun. Not in an obsessive way but in a matter of fact way. As a truth of my life.
And the fact that I don't know whether he'll reach out or what's going to happen in the future has been making me feel really anxious. I was so anxious last night. I felt that I could feel him.
I regret how things were left the last time. And I regret being in a negative mindspace, which means I should embrace am optimistic point of view.
What is he thinking? How is he feeling? The anxiety is eating me up. It's at a time like this when i need these answers to know if he is fine that he always pulls back.
There are two people in this friendship-- and it's not just what i want that matters. I also have to take into account his wishes.
He ish sho sho sho cute.
Does he really not love me? I don't think i can love without him. And i'm craving his smell.
Why did he call me a rebound the last time we met? I felt really hurt.
Does he really want me to leave his life? I don't know for sure. But that is what he said.
I had a dream in the morning about injections and pills and Hassan. I don't remember seeing Arun in my dreams lately. Has he moved on?
I'll give him whatever he wants.
I hope i have a good day. I hope he has a good day.
I am feeling:
Stable
Heart full of love
Pretty
I met Lina in the morning. Her cat bit her and she is getting Rabies shots.
What does Arun want from me? Is it just friendship or a bit more?
Love,
Me.
9 51 am
I am gratefuk for God's infinite love, grace and blessings on my life.
I regret telling Arun not to talk to me but i was very hurt when he called me a rebound.
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