I had a fantastic first year of 2026. It was not all hunky dory but it was good :)
I was unable to quit smoking cigarettes. I smoked about eight cigarettes today.
I woke up around 7.30 and combed my hair, drank juice and set out for a walk.
I was feeling highly negative. I've been sleeping quite deeply for a very long time.
I took a long walk and went to the Kali baari where they were doing Arati. They were also serving bhog there (it's exactly 12.00 am) but the line was so long that I didn't get any prasad.
I walked around the mandir amid many people sending me new years greetings. Na Bho said he wants to meet me when I'm back because he said he has some not so good news for me.
I called him up and he sounded low. Then i went to the D block house. It was so saddening to see Dimma and Dadu's house gone. Bu messaged me. Then DeJh called.
I had been feeling so negative that I vented to him. He told me to get busy. He is right. But for some reason i kept defending myself.
Then i took a bath and it was time for lunch.
We had chitol macher chorchori with dal and Talapeeya maach. It was all so yum. Mashi and Mesho are so generous.
Then i went out for another walk. And Mashi read my palm. She rightly noticed that my mounts are getting depressed.
Then Ma's friend Shakuntala came home and she said that she was really happy to meet me again.
I sat with coffee and chatted with her.
Oh yes, after lunch we had some yummy chocolate pattie kind of thing with coffee. That was yum.
Mashi and Mesho are such a cute couple. Ma and Pa don't talk that much.
Then after Shakuntala mashi left after inviting us for tomorrow's New Year's Gosho i asked Ma to talk to me and chant with me. Eshna said she will join us.
My frustration with Ma's aggression came out as i was talking to her and she was very very rude and i walked out of the room. I set out for another walk.
Mashi asked me to get Sourdough bread from Blue Tokai so i went with Phool Singh to buy it and smoked a cigarette on the way. It's 12.12 am.
Then i had every intention to chant but i started chatting with Haroon and DeJh. I vented to both of them. I spoke to Haroon about all my frustrations with Ma and he told me that parents are also human.
I feel a little guilty for feeling so negative and for talking to Haroon about Ma. Pa has again stopped talking to me properly.
Ma said some very ignorant things to me today when i had a fight with her.
I told DeJh about my dream where i saw that ive hit my lowest point and he told me that it means that my bad days are coming to an end. He also offered to lend me money but i declined. He also rightly said that the dream means that i feel guilty about past karma. That is correct.
I really like talking to both Haroon and DeJh. And i'm so grateful that i could vent to them. It's a blessing to have friends. It's 12.22 am.
Then we had mutton stew and some yummy desert and Eshna showed me an album of Bubul Mesho and C Mashi's student days in Belgium. Mashi was so pretty and they make such a wonderful couple.
Ma called me shona for the first time today. That sounds weird coming from her mouth.
I set out for another walk after dinner.
Then PrSad messaged saying he wants a Tarot session with me on Monday.
And I am feeling a strong urge to smoke a cigarette now but i don't have any.
I should also be generous. I hope A had a great new years day. I think i'll call him far less from now on. I'm feeling so breathless. It's 12.33 now.
I am feeling:
Happy
Grateful for friends.
Grateful for this Delhi-Agra trip.
I am grateful for my family and friends.
I am grateful for 2026. It's going to be a good year.
I am grateful for God's infinite love, grace and blessings on my life.
I'm not feeling sleepy at all. Everybody at home seems to be awake.
I am grateful for my Parent's good health and long life.
I am grateful for friends like Arun, Haroon and DeJh.
I love my parents. I love Eshna, Koena and Mashi.
Now ill chant for a bit and then go to sleep.
Love,
Me.
12.41 am
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