I woke up from a dream where I saw that Arun and many others were accusing me of overextending myself. I didn't really understand this dream.
I've been sleeping rather late and waking up rather late. Today I woke up after 9.30.
I haven't had any time to do yoga or pranayam these past few days. Each day I at least try to get in chanting and meditation.
Today rehearsals are at 4.
We had the Gosho today that Ri led. We studied Awakening to Our Greater Mission and Our Greater Self.
For me that means having that vow in your life that keeps you unfazed come what may.
As Ri was talking I reflected that suffering and joy are an inherent part of life. We studied this Gosho holistically and I realised that I'm not the only one going through problems. Even people like Ri have problems.
Dee said that even that extra fifteen minutes of prayers and chanting makes all the difference.
I wanted to chant a little on my own before Ri and Dee came but I didn't get the time.
After they left I sat with Ma and studied life and death. Mom said that you can't live your life to your highest potential unless you face the issue of your death. I thought that may be I've been berating Ra Ti a little too much in my mind.
I tend to judge people a lot. But there is good in everyone. To praise, to appreciate, to love, to understand is the Buddhist's conduct.
What I studied with Ma was that death and life is a part of life and all phenomena in the universe.
The sun rises and sets and day leads into night. Just like that our life leads to repose in the form of death and just as the sun exists despite disappearing at night just so our entities and our beings go on for ever even though appearing to enter extinction.
Thus it's never too late to change our ways and our karma.
Mom said that if you can face your death joyfully that's a victorious life.
When I die I want to be remembered for all the love and kindness I gave, for the jokes I shared and for the smiles and laughs I passed around. I want to make the people in my life feel appreciated and loved. My many accomplishments will be buried in time but the people whose lives I touched will cherish moments spent with me and carry me unto their deaths just like I remember Dimma, Dadu, Jethu, Simba and Thama and countless other people who have passed on.
In the end people always remember not your achievements but how you made them feel.
Anyhow the clarion call summoning me to the lunch table has been heard. I have to eat lunch now. So Au Revoir dear Journal till my next post.
I am feeling:
Happy
Full of love
Like I've gained perspective after today's study
Eager to meditate and chant after lunch
I am grateful for today's Gosho study. It was truly wonderful.
I am grateful for all the yummy food I eat each day.
I am grateful for all the beings who adorn my life.
I am grateful for my existence.
One must not pine after death. Even one more day of life is a huge blessing.
I am grateful for God's infinite love, Grace and blessings on my life.
Love,
Me.
2.00 pm
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