I woke up and had a bath and spent some time on YouTube. Then Pa came back from his walk and pointed fingers at me and shouted at me forcing me to go on a path that is not of my choice.
I'm tired, really tired of the way my loved ones treat me.
I chanted while weeping for about 15 minutes to forgive Ma (the most), Baba, Buro and Arun. I have to forgive everybody who has ever slandered me and rejected my good wishes and my heart.
I'm feeling so distraught. I feel so hurt. People really can hurt the people who love them.
I prayed a lot to let Arun go, to not think about him, to set himself and me free.
I want to be responsible, I want to be independent and I don't want to trouble anybody in life and in death.
I'm so hurt. So very hurt.
I wish I had someone to hug me, to kiss me, to love me unconditionally and to tell me it will all be alright and that I'm perfect just the way I am.
Love,
Me.
11.09 am
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