Today i spoke to Kanshri, i spoke to Arun and i cried a lot over the phone. I don't know why. I was feeling so darned broken. Arun said he won't watch a movie with me and that really hurt me. He has the knack to be pretty harsh.
Then i was feeling so darned low that i fell asleep for about an hour.
Then i went to meet SeeDhi. SeeDhi is so sincere. She scolded me for yesterday. And she told me how women are not blessed by Nature.
I came home around 3, ate my lunch and chanted for about 40 minutes.
You can't make a change unless you are emotional but in this emotionality practicality (the brain) is vital. It's very important to be practical. To use your brain.
Then i wanted to write but my laptop was just 1 per cent charged. Ive changed my cigarette brand today to something more expensive but less addictive.
I then attended the Nica meeting for two hours. Then my shona Ma came home. At first we had a fight and then i told her all about my day.
SoPa's dog Pixie is in the ICU in a vet hospital and there was a lot of exasperation regarding him all through the day.
I then wrote a little bit of my novel and am here on the building bench updating my journal. The old cat is sitting on my lap. What joy! She just wasn't moving. I just got up. It's cold and there are fewer mosquitoes today.
I wore a short black dress today.
May i always be dignified! May i practice moderation in everything.
People have opinions, people can be harsh but they can also be very kind. We have God and the Devil within us.
I am grateful for God's infinite love, grace and blessings on my life.
I am feeling:
Happy
Stable
Practical
I will always, ALWAYS love Arun.
Love,
Me.
8.57 pm
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