I think I had a day of momentum. I smoked quite a bit. I spent the morning writing my novel. I made Ma read what I've written so far. Even though i am a harsh self critic Ma said it's pretty good. I was kind of relieved because i take her as a real connaisseur of good literature and also one of my best critics.
All through my life if anyone has influenced my writing it is the writers i have read and Ma.
She made me simplify my poetry, encouraged me to write stories. I am who i am thanks to her. And more importantly, i am the writer i am thanks to her.
Then GoSi was supposed to come at 2 but he landed at 3.30. He picked my red dress, blue And dress, Black long dress and a green and golden saree to wear.
I wrote my novel till he came and we quickly wrapped up the meeting because i was supposed to meet JoCo.
I was late by 16 minutes for JoCo. We sat at Third Wave and yapped a bit. And then i suggested to him that we go to the beach.
He loves spending time alone, he said. He is a reader and is currently devouring Manga.
I realise that i am not ready to date anyone new. I am alright with friends like De Jh and A Alam who i meet sometimes. I am focusing on career and money mentally. I told JoCo that that i don't want to date anybody. I don't know how he took it.
He is a nice Roman Catholic guy who had an energy of edginess but he calmed down when we were at the beach.
He told me that we should definitely visit Heng Bok.
Then DeJh messaged me that he is getting hospitalised and i came home and called him up. I think i'll go meet him at the hospital soon.
Then PadRa messaged that she wants to meet me in Bandra. Now i find her a little depressed. I told her I'll meet her once I'm back from Delhi. She is a cool scuba diving girl.
Through meeting JoCo i was conscious of my feet and amid his chattiness i found myself quiet and introverted, introvert that i am.
I wonder how A is. Hope he is well. I won't call him up anytime soon. I kind of missed him with a sense of emptiness and closure as i sat with JoCo watching the sunset.
If there is anything this year has taught me it is to sit with all my feelings, pleasant and unpleasant. It has taught me to face myself, through pain and loss. Arun has been a rockstar support system. This year has also taught me to be grateful and the value of contentment and harmony.
While Pa has become acerbic my relationship with Ma has vastly improved.
Now, i'll sit and chant, write for half an hour and read. I just can't find the Arundhati Roy book so I've started reading the child psychology book that Sadhya gifted me.
Her parents have come down for her father's treatment. I'll face them with confidence and grace.
Given that I'm shooting on Tuesday and have a meeting tomorrow and also have to go to meet DeJh i think I'll shoot Tarot videos on Wednesday.
I had a reasonably good day.
I am so grateful that i made headway with my novel and that Ma liked it.
I am grateful that i met GoSi today who seems like a really nice guy.
I am so grateful to have met JoCo who seemed more like he wants to date me. I hope we can be friends.
Ma has gone for Bollywood International Film Festival and is enjoying herself with Sadhya's mom. I'm so grateful that i told my film buff mother about the festival.
I am grateful that i had a yummy prawn curry, chorchori with dal and lal shaag fry with Mawa kachori and sweets for lunch. Lunch was really yum.
JoCo said that he has never had so much fun in a long time. Hmmm... that means i am good to talk to and I'm so grateful for that.
I am grateful for my friends, my brother, Sadhya and my family.
I am grateful for my friends. I am grateful for Arun. I had an amazing two years knowing him. He is a sweetheart and i used to call him my sweetest heart. He is still one of my favourite people. No JoCo can even come close to him. I really really hope he is fine. Deep down I'll always love him.
I am grateful that my mind is clear.
I am grateful that i dyed my hair today. I'll go for a pedicure tomorrow.
I am grateful that my cold has disappeared.
I am grateful that i pray for myself and i pray for others.
I am grateful for the food i eat, the shelter over my head and the money that i earn and have. So grateful for that.
I am grateful for my parents' and brother's support.
I am grateful for my life, my good health and good spirits.
I am grateful for God's infinite love, grace and blessings on my life.
I am grateful for each moment of life with all its people and all its experiences.
Now, ill sit and chant.
Love,
Me.
7 34 pm
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