I distinctly remember seeing Arun in my dream wearing all black but i don't remember the dream.
Arun left me just like that just the way my darling Dimma died and never came back.
I miss my Dimma today so so so much. She died too young and i didn't really get enough of her.
Why is Pa not talking to me?
Im feeling so alone and groggy and listless today.
I have things to do, work to accomplish.
And i really want to talk to Arun. Life is too short to not talk. Life is too short to fight and hold grudges. Life is too short to not take your heart seriously.
I just want to smell Arun's head. Just that. Nothing more.
I remember when Dimma used to tell me to count her greys. Her hair used to be oily so i didnt like doing it. But i wish i could turn back time and just count her greys.
Does Arun feel i still love him? And why did he move away? I wont bother him.
I really wish i had Dimma's pictures on my phone.
I think ill just go through some photographs.
May be im a little depressed. I feel sad.
Does Arun feel guilty when it comes to me? He mentioned it a few times. I don't know what the future holds. But pictures of him remind me of him.
He is so cute.
His serene sweet Jesus Christ face... he is the world's most handsome man to my eyes.
Im feeling so sad right now. My periods are a little away and i hope i have a good period this month.
Its been over six years since ive had sex and may be, just may be i wont be having sex ever.
Might as well become a nun! But that's not me, just not me. And if that's not happening i might as well focus on my career and make the most of my life.
I am feeling:
Sad
Slightly dejected
Heart heavy and slightly hurt
I am grateful for God's infinite love, grace and blessings on my life.
Love,
Me.
11.51 pm
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